The findings of this study present perceptions of respondents to convey the perceptions respondents have made of their experiences. Each section presents summary overviews of the perceptions that youth, parents, and/or professionals narratively shared on the relevant themes, as well as exemplar quotes to illustrate key findings in fine-grained detail. The first section showcases details on everyday life conditions the descendants of survivors experience in their homes as shaped by the vulnerability of parents and various repercussions of parental trauma on the life of the young people. The second section describes perceptions around mechanisms through which trauma associated with the 1994 genocide against the Tutsis among parents passes on to their descendants born after the genocide. The third section shows impact that trauma among the youth may have on reconciliation as a crucial element in the process of ensuring future peaceful cohabitation between genocide survivors and perpetrators. The fourth section is the discussion after which study limitations, conclusions and ethical consideration points are presented. The headings are made by the identified themes.
Everyday life of survivor descendants
Findings of this study suggest that the genocide has had a myriad of consequences on the family as a whole with particular effects on the well-being of survivor families. Some of the young Rwandans, especially those who were born after the genocide, grew up in uprooted families due to genocide, and thus they currently feel saddened by not having a family (place) to visit especially during the holidays as other children of their age do— because most of their aunts, uncles and grandparents were killed—. Some children have parents who are physically handicapped and/or traumatized by beatings, being cut by machetes, injured with spears, or other violent experiences during the genocide. Other young people’s parent developed chronic diseases, and were unable to adequately respond to their children’ needs across their lifespan. The most prevalent illnesses reported among parents by youth were HIV/AIDS, Ihahamuka during the genocide commemoration period, and/or Ihungabana during other months of the year. The ill health of parents causes youth to feel deprived of parental affection due to both physical and emotional absence of their parents, in addition to growing up in impoverished families.
Youth reported that their everyday life is marked by living in distressing health conditions that remind them of the suffering they would not face if there had not been the genocide. According to young respondents, they carry the burden of living with traumatized parents as well as not living a life to its full potential. They repeated several times that they grow up in families that are emotionally and financially affected, hence leading them to act as their own mothers and sometimes their own fathers, which led to some dropping out of school, working for money and performing some of the parents’ household activities to take care of their vulnerable parents. Divine, shares how her role shifted:
‘Consequences are many. I am not happy because of how I see her (the mother). If my mother is always sick, I cannot go anywhere. I cannot look for a job because I am the one to take care of her. I cannot go to school. Whenever I get money, I give it to my mother to pay medical bills. Other consequences are that I do my mother’s work, which is greater than what I can do under normal circumstances.’ Divine, # A young girl, IDI
Growing in such conditions which youth perceive as abnormal heavily weight on their everyday life and activities.
Changes in the family during the genocide commemoration period
Respondents across all categories described a change of the life mood in the familial milieu especially during the genocide commemoration period. Observed changes are associated with a deep sorrow among their parents as well as family members remembering the loss of their loved ones killed during the genocide. Isolation of parents, silence within the family and harsh behaviours towards children are the main characteristics cited. In spite of physical parental presence at home, normal life habits are often disturbed, as parents tend to emotionally return back to their past in ways that are a more or less visible to their descendants.
Interpersonal relationships which might seem normal and positive between children and their parents become irritating, whereas parent-child communication is dominated by warnings. Youth repeatedly highlighted that their parents warn them especially in terms of behaving carefully towards others and being home before it gets dark. Youth expressed that these warnings result from parents’ fear and worries about their children’s safety, presuming that they may be killed by former family perpetrators who some of the survivors still mistrust. King, narrated the following:
‘During the genocide commemoration period, there are many rules at home. My mother warns us that we should be at home early, if we do not want to be killed and buried in unknown places. She tells us that during this period of commemoration, killers are very angry. That they are not happy. She tells us that they may kill us. Those warnings are many during the commemoration...My mother is no longer the mother we know. I feel bad, but she looks worried too. I feel against her [mother] but I respect her, though I do not feel happy of that.’ King, # A young boy, IDI
On one hand, young respondents perceive the commemoration events as beneficial and enable them to join their families in remembering their loved ones killed and learn some of their familial genocide experiences that are normally silenced outside of the period and events related. On the other hand, youth in this study dislike hearing how their parents have been victimized. They expressed that they get abruptly exposed to such experiences that are sometimes vivid when parents are suffering from Ihahamuka, which increases significantly during this period. According to youth respondents, parental behaviours and warnings during the commemoration that result from their suffering, often create boundaries between young descendants of survivors and their parents, as well as between them and their peers from the perpetrator’s side. The experience of Sandra illuminates this:
‘When they play commemoration songs or talk about genocide experiences, he [the father] is not happy. He doesn’t talk to us or look happy as usual. He is not free to talk to us.’ Sandra, # A young girl, IDI.
Mechanisms of trauma transmission
Findings of this study have revealed four perceived possible mechanisms of trauma transmission. Those mechanisms include transmission of trauma through biological means, through silence and through disclosure of traumatic experiences in everyday life.
Transmission through biological means
When asked about the trauma transmission mechanisms, parents and professionals reported a vertical transmission where maternal trauma passes down to children through maternal blood during pregnancy and/or through breastmilk. For instance, one lady who was pregnant during the genocide explained that when perpetrators attached their hiding area and she gets scared her child in the womb stopped moving until fear diminished. However, this type of transmission was rather unknown among youth. Parents also argued that a baby born from a traumatized mother may develop similar symptoms as his/her mother, namely fear, sorrow and pain as explained by one of the mothers:
“I think those symptoms [of trauma) are transmitted to the baby when is still in her/his mother's womb; may be through maternal blood. Although the baby did not see the mother with those symptoms of ihungabana, but after birth, you will gradually observe him/her developing some of the symptoms you presented when you were carrying his/her pregnancy”. Cansilde, # parent, FGD.
“I think it's born with. When a mother is pregnant and then develop trauma (Ihungabana), the symptoms she presents may be transmitted to the child in her womb...A baby in her mother's womb usually understands whatever her mother says, all pains and feelings that she goes through. Hence the reason why after birth, the child may present symptoms of trauma, similar to those her mother present”. Cynthia, # parent, FGD
Transmission of trauma through silence of (parental) genocide experiences
“For e.g., on my side, one of the symptoms I commonly show is that I often find it difficult to disclose my problems to other people, I am always quiet, especially in regards to what I passed through during the genocide. The symptom of not disclosing things that pains us is common both to me and my children; I think my children have got it from me. Just as Kinyarwanda proverbs say ''a calf can't fail to pick a colour from the mother (Ntayima nyina akabara)”.
Narratives across all of the data and from all categories of respondents showed that survivor parents seemed reluctant to share their traumatic experiences with their own descendants despite the eagerness of their children to know their parents’ past. Youth’s interest of knowing the past is prominent in terms of knowing how Hutus[1] and Tutsis people look like, how they differ from each other and where the three ethnic group (Hutu, Tutsi and Twa) that lived in Rwanda until the genocide are residing today. They are interested in knowing reasons that pushed some people to turn against their family members. Youth ask their parents to tell and show them genocide perpetrators, especially the killers of their families and want to know whether their parents may forgive or have forgiven those who wronged them in the past. Furthermore, descendants whose parents have bodily scars as a result of genocide showed an interest in knowing the ‘why’ of such scars; others wanted to know their parental survival mechanisms, while a few others did not express the need to learn about this past out of fear of the consequences this knowing might have on their life.
Even though many youths wish to have knowledge about their family’s genocide history, most of the parents in this study expressed having difficulties answering their children’s natural questions. Silencing such information is one of parents’ strategies to stop their children from inquiring so much. In order to deal with this questioning some parents opted to silence the truth. Some others chose to make up stories that would help their descendants understand the past while mitigating the risks that may result from a full disclosure, namely feelings of revenge among youth.
‘One day I went with my child to visit a memorial site, but they would not allow him to enter because he was still underage. Then we moved around outside the building. I was showing him the bodies of people who were killed during the genocide. As we walked, he asked me, “What are those sticks?” I said those are bones of the limbs. “Then where are the muscles and skin like ours?” I did not have an answer for that; but when he kept asking me the same question, I told him that the perpetrators who killed them went away. I told him like that because I did not want him to ask whether they are among our neighbours, otherwise he would later cause trouble in our neighbourhood.’ Geneviève, # A parent, FGD
In other cases, youth expressed that some parents are unable to reiterate their genocide experiences due to emotional distress. To simplify the conversation, some parents respond to their children that they do not know how they survived, especially when children inquire about individual parental past experiences, while others burst into emotions with an inability to verbally respond to their children such questions that bring back the painful past into their minds.
Silence among parents was given a meaning by respondents. From the point of view of professionals, parents resist telling their genocide story because they have not been able to come to terms with their own traumatic past. They argue that traumatic experiences have impaired parents’ ability to give a meaning and find a speech that describes such bad experiences because the latter are painful and difficult to reiterate, hence an inability to integrate trauma as well. As a result, avoiding discussing this topic with their children helps parents to protect themselves from emotional suffering that may result once a parent engages into sharing such experiences on the one hand. On the other hand, some parents silence their traumatic past experiences in order to protect their children from side effects such experiences may cause to children once narrated to them.
“Because witnessing the genocide events has caused some parents to feel as if they already died, some parents avoid telling their children that they once died and then reborn. This is because they think it is not necessary to emptying themselves into their children. For me as well, I think there is a need of reserving some parts of genocide experiences because they may affect children’s lives.” Julia # A psychologist, IDI
Despite the silence from parents to protect themselves as well their children from adverse outcomes, the study findings suggest that silence is a potential mechanism through which trauma of the past is transmitted through. Some survivors’ descendants may get vicariously traumatized due to sympathizing with the parents when they struggle to silence their past but display some signs of discomfort due to emotional pain resulting from the inquiry of children when they want to know more about the past of parents. In circumstances where there is an absence of this information due to silencing, other descendants may get traumatized due to their imagination of unknown genocide events, mostly based on what they observe from trauma victims including their parents and memory representations found in the memorials. One of the young respondents shared the following:
“What I think can cause that trauma is imagination. Even if parents do not like to tell us about the genocide, someone can imagine what his/her parents went through and make a link between that imagined experience and what he/she sees in the memorial sites, and immediately creates a scenario in his head leading up to trauma crisis. This may happen especially when one sees the parent remembering the bad experiences that marked the country and go back to that time, you may also feel sad when he puts himself in her/his shoes”. Parfait, # A young boy, IDI
This imagination sometimes leads to descendants feeling as if they lived through the events themselves, thus developing trauma symptoms which are almost similar to those commonly observed among adult survivors.
‘The trauma among the youth is also because parents do not answer all of the questions, they are asked by the youth. For instance, some youth take alcohol and drugs so they can easily cope with this parental silence.’ Joanitha, # A psychiatric nurse, IDI
The experiences of the youth show that parents do not just hide the truth, but when they make up stories, they may inadvertently introduce more emotional risks than what they hope to mitigate.
Transmission of trauma through disclosure of genocide-related stories, experiences and testimonies
Although some respondents emphasized that there is a transmission of Ihungabana through silence on one hand, the opposite (the disclosure of the past) was also found as shared by Genevieve in the following quote:
‘Whatever children hear [about the genocide], they keep it in their mind, and as they keep absorbing all those stories, they develop Ihungabana.’ Geneviève, # A parent FGD.
Most of the youth reported that the primary place where they learn genocide history and stories related is at school through history classes that include the genocide history in Rwanda, hence motivated to ask more about such a history. Second, young people encounter such (hi)stories through being exposed to individual genocide-related testimonies of mostly survivors at the memorial sites while attending commemoration events. Third, accounts of youth suggest that they acquire trauma through hearing stories related to genocide experiences sometimes from parents, elder siblings or other family members. Some of these stories are more traumatizing than others. According to the majority of young respondents, the most traumatizing side of the past is learning the inhumane actions done by perpetrators to the victims, such as those resulting in the death of a relative or genocide experiences of one’s own parent(s). With sympathy towards his parents, and with an emotionally disturbed tone, tears in his eyes, Damien, a young man, gives here:
‘My mother usually tells me about it and even when we go to the memorial site, they tell us some victims and we find that they are our relatives…Since I knew it, it was hard for me to accept the way they died. It is painful when a razor cuts you - imagine how hard it is to accept that they have cut someone’s head or leg with a machete.’
Young respondents recognize that not all the testimonies can lead to Ihungabana or Ihahamuka. The majority shared that it depends on how those testimonies are shared, the psychological state of people surrounding the child in everyday life and the behaviours of members of the communities and environment in which these youth grow up. For instance, some youth said that some parents or family members share genocide experiences unwittingly when they are suffering from Ihahamuka. This is to say that they convey horrible stories through howls or screams, flashbacks and calling out to people unknown to the youth. Yet youth judge these kinds of stories to be fragmented or incomplete, with difficulties of getting the full story at once; because sometimes the suffering person looks like he/she is in another world where she/he sees things that other people do not and have difficulties interacting and communicating with people around him/her. Furthermore, the content of the story itself may be dangerous though speaking plainly is not the choice of the Ihungabana victims, but rather the incident resulting from the overwhelming emotions expressed by victims following remembrance of past violence committed against them.
‘The way parents narrate the story may end up psychologically traumatizing the children. For instance, telling the children how their father or uncles were being chased, how they escaped, how they found them where they were hiding, and how they cut them in pieces with panga and so forth. That way of narrating stories of what happened during the genocide to children is the one that arouse emotions that may lead to Ihungabana among the youth.’ Jeannine, # A psychologist, IDI
According to parent respondents, genocide-related stories shared wholeheartedly with the children at once are also a possible mechanism through which Ihungabana from parents is transmitted towards their young post-genocide descendants who did not witness the traumatic past. This unlimited openness is commonly found among severely traumatized parents or among perpetrators who still display genocide ideology. Indeed, most youth fail to understand reasons that have led to such hatred and killings. A few of the young survivors’ descendants were also exposed to traumatizing testimonies of some of the genocidal inhuman actions publicly testified to by the perpetrators themselves. Such narratives are sources of trauma among some youth.
‘They [perpetrators] should say it in a humble manner. Sometimes they list what they did and people they killed, the target numbers of people they wanted to kill; and they do that proudly. So, that makes me sadder to think that they seek for forgiveness by telling stories but behave inappropriately. That causes a problem in me…Another thing is that a parent can continue to implant those things in me by repeating what happened and who did it…Repeating its cruelty causes trauma for us.’ Jacob, # A young boy, IDI
Transmission through everyday contact with (a) traumatized parent (s)
“Whenever she developed mental trauma and cried, I would also cry, until they would take me away from her; after that some people would remain counselling me, while other would take her to the hospital; after a few days, I could see her brought back in stable condition; and that when I would also feel relieved. Then, I would stop thinking about that”. Josée, # A young girl, IDI
Respondents across all categories mentioned that trauma among descendants of survivors can also result from behaviours these descendants observe from own parent (s), everyday contact and how a child is taken care of or treated by the parent, during breastfeeding, bathing or feeding the kid. One of the professionals explain this:
There is a common saying that ''history repeats itself'' or history may be transmitted from generation to generation'' not because it is Genetical, but due to environmental factors such as those in which traumatized parents raise up their children. For instance, if the parents are traumatized, live with sorrow, always sad, or in pain as result of atrocities committed against them during the genocide, the child who grew up seeing such parents in that mood, will also live in hopeless life, sad, unsocial with likelihood of culminating into severe trauma (Ihungabana rikomeye). Ange, # A psychologist, FGD
In addition, respondents believed that some parents may also transmit their Ihungabana through physically abusing their children, such as beating them.
Whenever they [children] approached me, I was always harsh to them; sometimes I would scratch them with nails and leave them with scratch sores. Thus, my children adapted those bizarre habits they observed from me. This is why they often show sign of Ihungabana; they often feel rude to other children; they are never free with other people and often feel like isolating themselves. Cynthia, # A Parent, FGD
Moreover, respondents argue that many children who were brought up by such parents end up developing similar maladaptive (or culturally perceived as inappropriate) behaviours and symptoms of Ihungabana. Some of the manifestations of trauma among children are similar to those of their parents, although Ihungabana transmitted to young people manifests itself in different ways. Findings show that commonly embodied symptoms of Ihahamuka among children include making noises as if they are physically attacked. Some others shared that they lose consciousness, whereas others run away to find refuge.
One of the parents who attended a FGD listed common symptoms of Ihahamuka among youth as follows:
‘To lose a sense of direction, keeping quiet, lack of a sleep, losing appetite, feeling rude and talk to others harshly; others look mad, they may look as if they have sorrow, others complain about headaches that do not respond to analgesics/medications, while some others have deep thoughts about the past and withdrawal from others.’ Cancilde, # A parent FGD Bugesera
Although most of the symptoms of Ihahamuka among youth are similar to those symptoms in adults, a difference was also found. For instance, children who manifest reviviscency of past experiences do not express names especially those of attackers as this is spontaneous among adult survivors. Moreover, parents and professionals perceived that Ihungabana and Ihahamuka are mostly apparent among youth whose parents are severely traumatized and those who silence their genocide experiences. Still, despite the fact that youth recognize symptoms of trauma among adults and their peers, half of the youth in this study doubted that intergenerational trauma could be transmitted to those who were not yet born at the time of the genocide events.
The effects of (intergenerational) trauma on reconciliation
Before asking respondents the effects of trauma among the younger generation on reconciliation, they were first asked how they make sense of reconciliation. The respondents across all categories defined reconciliation as restoration of former relationships between genocide survivor and perpetrator families. This re-establishment of relationships requires seeking forgiveness from the side of perpetrators, which was valued and reported as an important and a key element in this process. According to the respondents, however, seeking pardon should be accompanied with reparations by perpetrators for what they damaged during the genocide.
Reparation and seeking genuine forgiveness mean, for survivors and their post-genocide descendants, acceptance of moral responsibility, as opposed to the attribution of the genocide acts to the former government as mostly observed among the perpetrators, meaning acceptance of one’s own individual role/responsibility for the genocide and being accountable for that matter. In addition to reparation and seeking forgiveness, finding the remains of their loved ones’ bodies for their decent burial was much valued as one of the remedies to heal trauma of both parents and their young descendants, experience some relief in their hearts, let the past go, forgive the offender and make reconciliation successful and sustainable.
‘No, it’s not easy to talk about unity to such people who still have Ihungabana because they are still taken up by the past. It’s hard for that person to forgive. It requires a strong heart; so, they need to be counselled first to get relieved from trauma, prior to telling them about unity and reconciliation.’ Josée, # a young respondent, IDI
Most of the youth suggest that for reconciliation to be possible, survivors should also offer forgiveness to those who wronged them and apologized. This process of seeking and offering pardon was reported to be one of the durable strategies to enable former enemies to genuinely re-unite and truly live peacefully after the genocide.
While assessing the impact of intergenerational trauma among youth on reconciliation processes, parents and professional respondents reported that it is clear that trauma of the past is being transmitted from adults to their young descendants. Additionally, it was perceived that traumatized young people cannot be open to reconciliation because those who are traumatized are still tied by the past, due to losing hope for the future and difficulties of looking ahead because trauma has the capacity to somehow damage that possibility. Respondents valued having peace of mind as a prerequisite for healthy interpersonal relationships between people and for future peace. Furthermore, trust was elucidated as important. The findings revealed that a trauma victim may mistrust the person who did harm to him in the past and feel afraid of them because the trauma victim keeps seeing his/her former perpetrators as their enemies who can attack and wrong him/her anytime.
Similar feelings were also reported by young respondents. They expressed that some of the youth may develop grudges after being traumatized by genocide experiences of their parents. Others grow up with fear towards genocide perpetrators they came to know through their parents’ past disclosure or other sources.
‘When I see someone who committed Genocide, like the ones I was showed, I am worried that they can kill me. When I see him, I run away because I am afraid of being killed.’ Divine, # A young respondent, IDI
On contrary, post-genocide descendants of survivors whose parents do not talk about the past tend to deny the genocide because one the one hand they fail to understand how a human being can kill another human being. On the other hand, such youth mistrust community members other than their family members and suspect them of being genocide perpetrators. Such youth also live with fear (as adults do) that the genocide might happen again and anytime. They are confused and anxious. Some of them look isolated, unhappy, and mentally unstable. Some others are aggressive towards others, look depressed and limit their interpersonal relationships towards their peers born of perpetrator parents. Professionals assert that someone who presents these trauma symptoms cannot take steps towards reconciliation.
Reconciliation was reported as something that can be possible among the youth but that also is influenced by the willingness, healing or degree of trauma and level of one’s own parent’s involvement in the reconciliation processes. For instance, young respondents expressed that some parents are still disconnected from other community members because of their trauma and inability to forgive those who wronged them.
‘For me, when my mother gets trauma crisis (Ihahamuka), I get so sad. It is impossible for me to live peacefully with the killers’ families knowing that they are the reason why my mother is severely traumatized. I start to focus on myself, isolate myself and get on my mother’s side. So, in this way, I think that parents may also influence us when it comes to reconciliation because they did not forgive and do not want us to forgive either. Divine, # A young respondent, IDI
Young people also expressed that such disconnected parents may possibly discourage their young descendants from interacting with perpetrators as well as their family members, including their young descendants, as a way of protecting them from being harmed by those families. This was also confirmed by one of the professionals:
‘Yes, it (Ihungabana) may have negative effect on unity and reconciliation process and we have seen that any traumatized individual is not mentally well; yet a mentally affected person cannot think of unity and reconciliation. Another issue related to that is that children take their parents as role models. So, if parents are not mentally stable, they will not think of unity and reconciliation. Likewise, if parents are not united, even their children will not think of unity and reconciliation with their fellow children or with other people.’ Ange, # A Professional, IDI
The inability of some youth to participate in reconciliation as well as associated difficulties with relating to their peers from the perpetrator families appear to potentially be linked to trauma induced in them. This trauma can be intensified by the community environment in which these children grow up. Additionally, both the trauma among survivor parents and the way perpetrators seek forgiveness are among the factors that hamper their openness and commitment toward reconciliation. In this line if thinking, testimonies of perpetrators (during the commemoration) when asking for pardon were judged by youth to be superficial since some of the perpetrators diluted their role and the severity of their wrongdoings by attributing their own involvement in genocide crimes to the former government. Such distancing from one’s own crimes among genocide perpetrators is interpreted by descendants of survivors as a form of denial.
Most of the respondents testified that relationships between youth from both survivors and former enemies seem better than that of their parents, despite difficulties and individual reasons that hinder parents themselves from being able to forgive and reconcile. Some parents support that their post-genocide descendants should live peacefully with their peers because they were not alive during the genocide. Youth supported parents’ perspective arguing that they are willing to have good relationship with their peers from the perpetrator families since they are equally treated by the government through, for instance, attending the same schools, learning the same history and using the same services, such as health facilities, and without facing any discrimination. However, on the other hand, youth stress that this willingness can be possible under certain conditions. For instance, they argued that they cannot reconcile with the enemy before their parents do so because parents are the primary victims among which reconciliation should take place first. According to young respondents, reconciling with the opponent’s side before a parent reconciles with his/her perpetrator is consequently perceived as a re-traumatization action toward their parents. Moreover, they expressed that a person not healed from trauma faces difficulties in terms of reconciling with his or her former enemies.
This has been also confirmed by one survivor parent who attended one of the FGDs:
‘After more than 20 years, nobody has ever come to tell me where my beloved relatives (who were killed) were thrown, nor tell me: “You know I am the one who looted your home.” Yet, those are people we stay with in this village! Perpetrators have instilled a weevil of trauma in our souls! (Imungu y'umutima). If they happen to find that weevil of trauma is over from me, then I will forgive them.’ Dancilla, # A parent FGD
Despite challenges that hinder reconciliation today, all of the interviewed respondents support the idea that young people from both survivors and perpetrators should be assisted and facilitated to join and attend platforms that may help them to have good relationships today and in the future. It was recommended by a sizeable number of respondents that all post-genocide generations should have their space for healing from their trauma, developing a sense of connectedness and hence becoming able to secure a peaceful future.
[1] Ethnic group from which the perpetrators belong to, while Tutsis ethnic group was composed of victims during the genocide. so, youth ask this because it is difficult to easily know who belonged to this category or not. Yet, even if this might be associated by the fact that Rwandans have resemblances, ethnicity was also outlawed from the identity cards.