As depicted in Table 1, the average age of participants was 66.5 years (SD = 10.88) and the average time post their partner’s breast cancer recovery was 13.13 years (SD = 8.76).
A total of four themes were constructed from the data. These themes were shared experience, external reminders, facing death and living life, and avoidance. The relationship between these themes is illustrated in a thematic map, as displayed in Fig. 1.
Theme One: Shared Experience
This theme demonstrates that participants perceived breast cancer as a shared experience with the survivor.
Sharing experience ultimately helps explain the origin of the partners’ FCR as the partners were active contributors throughout the breast cancer journey.
Participants’ perception of sharing the cancer experience was initially emphasised through inclusive language when participants were describing breast cancer:
“We had an illness; we fixed the illness” (Peter).
Moreover, most participants felt that while their partner experienced the physicality of the illness, the emotional experience was shared. This experience was conveyed when participants described their experiences during their partners’ breast cancer diagnosis and treatment.
“She has been through it physically, but I think we have both emotionally been there” (Ian)
As indicated by Ian, the emotional effects of cancer were a shared common experience expressed by all the participants. Consequently, the partners’ FCR appeared to stem from a fear of undergoing similar emotional hardships should cancer recur, as described by Stan:
“It would be an accumulative type of emotional upset” (Stan).
Thus, an accumulative type of emotional experience augmented the notion of a collective journey facing cancer together, indicating why FCR is shared with the partner.
Theme Two: External Reminders
Participants reported that their FCR was heightened when they were reminded of breast cancer. Particularly, most participants reported becoming fearful every time their partners experienced bodily pain or physical abnormality. For example, several participants mentioned that they equate every health issue experienced by their partner as a possible symptom of cancer recurrence:
“Every time you get a pain in the guts or if [my partner] gets a pain in her back, you kind of think oh no is this related to something” (Stan)
In addition to their hyper-vigilance, as expressed by Stan, FCR was also impacted by the influence of others. For instance, various participants experienced a heightened FCR when reminded of other people who had experienced the recurrence of cancer:
“We have lost a few friends and relatives to different cancers over the last few years, and they are our age, and if it happened to them, it could also happen to us”. (James)
As described by James, this theme demonstrates that external reminders of breast cancer, particularly health concerns along with the impact of other people’s experiences, influence partners’ FCR.
Theme Three: Facing Death and Living Life
Unsurprisingly, death was the participants’ main concern when considering the possibility of breast cancer recurrence. Furthermore, participants’ fear of their partners’ death forced them to develop a greater understanding of the concept of mortality. Thus, this theme reflects how participants’ heightened understanding of eventual death has urged them to make the most of their life.
Most participants had an overarching fear of their partners’ death when considering the possibility of a breast cancer recurrence as exemplified by Ben:
“Always on the back of my mind, are we going to be unlucky? Could [my partner] even die?” (Ben)
Similarly, participants’ awareness of their partners’ possible death imposed a developed recognition of the concept of mortality.
“It raises questions about her mortality, but it also brought forward versions of that for me too…the fact that she’s getting cancer makes me think about getting cancer as well, or other ways of dying” (Leo)
This quote by Leo demonstrates that participants’ FCR not only stemmed from a fear of their partners’ death but an overall awareness of mortality. Most participants also alluded to their heightened awareness of mortality through comments such as:
“She could go for a walk right now and a branch could fall on her head” (Martin)
Where participants expressed numerous different plausible causes of their partners’ death. This heightened awareness of mortality led all participants to try and make the most of their life:
“When we talk about our mortality, we’re quite forward-thinking in terms of the way we want to live the remaining parts of our life” (Tony)
Tony’s quotation illustrates the basic premise of this theme, that breast cancer forced participants to face death, which subsequently encouraged them to live life.
Theme Four: Refrain from worry
Many participants would deny experiencing FCR, however, would often contradict themselves by stating recurrence possibility is constantly on the back of their mind, as expressed by Peter.
“It is always on the back of your mind, but we never speak about it, we never even think about it” (Peter)
This quotation illustrates that whilst aware of recurrence possibility, participants refrained from worrying about their FCR. Similarly, many participants mentioned that they viewed worrying about recurrence as pointless:
“Over the years I have developed a deep appreciation for not worrying about things that you have no control over, and it is easier said than done” (Tony)
Tony demonstrates that some participants deliberately avoided thinking about recurrence, as worrying was futile. All participants shared these views and were motivated to move forward from their past:
“It has a great impact, obviously it has, but we do not talk about that. It is not taboo, but it happened, we survived, we have to move on” (Ian).
Similar to Ian, most participants did not want to think about their experiences with breast cancer or their FCR.
Summary of Thematic Map
As illustrated in the thematic map (Fig. 1.), these four themes were interrelated. Shared experience helps explain the origin of the partners’ FCR and why such fears exist to begin with. Because the cancer experience was shared, participants were also faced with reminders of this shared past. Thus, external reminders indicate what drives the partners’ FCR. Furthermore, because the cancer experience was shared between the partner and the survivor, the partner is also faced with the consequences of experiencing cancer. Specifically, fearing death, developing a heightened awareness of mortality, and experiencing an urge to make the most of life. Likewise, external reminders of breast cancer reminded the participant of the possibility of death. Nevertheless, when participants were reminded of breast cancer and faced with their FCR, they attempted to refrain from worry. Ultimately portraying how participants coped with their FCR.