The descriptive characteristics of the parents are presented in Table 1. The study consisted of 17 parents (9 mothers, 8 fathers) of 9 children with a colostomy; mothers were between the ages of 19 and 55, and fathers were between the ages of 28 and 63. The majority of the parents (n = 12) were between the ages of 30 and 65, primary-secondary school graduates (n = 15), married (n = 9) with a nuclear family structure and health insurance, and were informed before and after the surgery about colostomy care (n = 17). The mothers were housewives (n = 9) between the ages of 19 and 55; most were primary school graduates (n = 7) capable of delivering colostomy care without any support (n = 7). Most of the fathers were primary school graduates (n = 5) and stated they took care of the colostomy together with their spouses (n = 6). The age range of the children with colostomy was between 4 months and 9 years; five were girls and four were boys. The data obtained from the interviews included 3 main themes and 13 sub-themes. The main themes were determined to be “first meeting”, “difficulties” and “coping”. (Table 1).
Table 1
The descriptive characteristics of the parents
|
Parents number
|
Age of parents
|
Child's age
(month/ year)
|
Educational
status
|
Caregiver
|
Parents 1
|
1
|
Father
|
28
|
7 month
|
Secondary school
|
Mother
|
2
|
Mother
|
19
|
Primary school
|
Mother
|
Parents 2
|
3
|
Father
|
25
|
3 years
|
Primary school
|
Mother
|
4
|
Mother
|
32
|
Primary school
|
Mother
|
Parents 3
|
5
|
Father
|
28
|
5 years
|
University
|
Mother
|
6
|
Mother
|
36
|
Secondary school
|
Mother
|
Parents 4
|
7
|
Father
|
35
|
4 years
|
Primary school
|
Mother
|
8
|
Mother
|
23
|
Primary school
|
Mother
|
Parents 5
|
9
|
Father
|
29
|
4 years
|
Secondary school
|
Mother
|
10
|
Mother
|
31
|
Primary school
|
Mother
|
Parents 6
|
11
|
Father
|
35
|
5 years
|
Primary school
|
Mother
|
12
|
Mother
|
34
|
Primary school
|
Mother
|
Parents 7
|
13
|
Father
|
40
|
7 years
|
Primary school
|
Father
|
14
|
Mother
|
55
|
|
Secondary school
|
Mother
|
Parents 8
|
15
|
Father
|
63
|
4 months
|
Illiterate
|
Father
|
16
|
Mother
|
33
|
Primary school
|
Mother
|
Parents 9
|
17
|
Mother
|
34
|
9 years
|
Secondary school
|
Mother
|
Table 1
Themes
|
Subthemes
|
n
|
First meeting
|
Emotional distress
|
13
|
|
Anxiety
|
7
|
|
Shame
|
10
|
|
Helplessness
|
8
|
|
Uncertainty
|
6
|
|
Fear
|
8
|
Difficulties
|
Difficulty in care
|
12
|
|
Social isolation
|
9
|
|
Economic problems
|
4
|
Coping
|
Acceptance
|
6
|
|
Positive outlook
|
5
|
|
Spiritual beliefs
|
10
|
|
Fatalism
|
13
|
Theme 1: First meeting
Subtheme 1: Emotional distress
In this section, parents described their emotional distress on first encountering their child after the placement of the colostomy.
"I was so sad, it was like my world had collapsed. I encountered something I had never seen before. I encountered something that I had never seen in our family. Why did my child have this problem?''(10th Person, Mother, 31y)
''We were really affected by it. We were sleep deprived and stressed. My husband works outdoors. Everyone has a job, or something to do. I was always alone. I always thought about “What am I going through?” It was tough. Sometimes I wonder if God is testing us. The children of those who had a baby at the same time as me are healthy. I am always stressed, I do not want to eat, I cannot sleep.'' (16th Person, Mother, 33y)
Sub-theme 2: Despair
Parents of children with colostomy described feeling helpless because of the colostomy, that it was very difficult for their children to live with a colostomy, and that they had no hope because there was nothing they could do.
''When he scratches, his intestines come out, and it bleeds. I feel very sorry for him too. There is nothing I can do.” (10th Person, Mother, 31y)
“So whatever we did was useless, it shook us a little. Psychologically it really shook us. In other words, you are always on the brink of crying, there are days when you cannot keep yourself together. There is nothing we can do. I want to give the whole world to my child… Now my child is withering in front of me, I witness all of it. My hands are tied, and I cannot do anything.” ( 1th Person, Father, 28 y)
Sub-theme 3: Fear
In this study, parents describe their fears of something happening to their child due to the colostomy, of encountering unexpected results due to surgery, or something happening due to how young their child is.
"I was very scared. He was born when he was seven months old, so little, and had an operation… I was afraid, I was afraid that something bad would happen." (4th Person, Mother, 32y)
''I was so scared. When he came out of the operation, I was very afraid. My whole body was trembling when I saw this place.” (17th Person, Mother, 34y)
Sub-theme 4: Uncertainty
Parents of children with colostomy expressed uncertainty regarding whether their child would survive.
"If he gets colostomy and something happens to him, I can't take it. If he doesn’t and something bad happens again, I don't think I can watch him suffer in front of me either. Both are a big responsibility; I cannot pick either of them. I’m stuck between the two (15th Person, Father, 63y)
Sub-theme 5: Worry
Parents describe anxiety surrounding not having encountered a colostomy before or unexpected events brought about by the colostomy; they express feelings of uncertainty and helplessness and lack of knowledge in the post-operative period. This situation has a negative effect on the parents.
“I always asked others. When I was at home, I always thought about this. And when I went to the hospital, if I saw a child in someone’s arms I immediately asked what surgery they had, and how it went. I have never seen such an operation performed on babies (3rd Person, Father, 25 y)
''... and the doctor says that the operation will take 6 hours. But he may or may not get through, so we got more and more depressed… The doctor says it's okay, and I ask "What do you mean it is okay? Maybe you are used to it, but how can I stay calm when my child has his intestine is 10 cm outside of his body?" (11th Person, Father, 35 y)
Sub-theme 6: Shame
The majority of parents of children with colostomy experienced embarrassment due to changes in their social life.
“Even when guests came over he would hide the colostomy. He was embarrassed. He gets embarrassed when we go somewhere. He gets embarrassed when we go to the park. I'm afraid to let him ride a bike, thinking the same thing would happen again... I couldn't take my son to school, I was ashamed.'' (12th Person, Mother, 34y)
“People want to see his colostomy. I don't want to show it. It smells. We went through so many difficulties.” (16th Person, Mother, 33y)
Theme 2: Difficulties
Problems surrounding colostomy care, social isolation and economic problems were sub-themes in the difficulties experienced by colostomy families in the post-op period.
Sub-theme 7: Problems in care
Changes occur in families when a colostomy is introduced to a child. This study determined that during the growth and development stages of the child, difficulties in care arose due to factors such as the colostomy bag bursting, difficulty changing the colostomy bag, and colostomy bag non-adherence.
''Not drying. Washing it was not harmful. I used to wash it daily but it wouldn't dry. I would put a lot of cloths on it, dry it. I would check later and it would get wet again. It would not stick when it was wet, I had a hard time drying it… I was hardly even changing his clothes, it would flow from the bottom get dirty, I would change sheets a lot, everything was difficult.'' (4th Person, Mother, 32y)
''Sticking it was hard. I thought it might damage the skin. Sometimes it would burst. When the child was moving around or he was full if the child toss and turn the bag would explode. I was afraid that it could cause damage when it blew up.” (8th Person, Mother, 23y)
Sub-theme 8: Social isolation
The parents stated that their social life changed due to colostomy, and they mostly neglected their other children because they constantly looked after the child with colostomy.
'You can't go anywhere. We couldn't go anywhere because the child could catch a disease.” (5th Person, Father, 28y)
''I couldn't do any work. I have always taken care of the child. We always took care of him because he was sick… I couldn't go anywhere. The child would cry nonstop. He cried a lot.” (6th Person, Mother, 36y)
Sub-theme 9: Economic issues
Most of the parents in this study stated that they used colostomy bags more during the developmental stages of their child and financial difficulties because they had to pay for the colostomy materials themselves.
'Made in Europe. We made an agreement with the medical store, so we were buying from there. The last time we bought it for 3.5 TL, then they increased the price up to 6 TL. We couldn’t find it anywhere else, I’ve gone to all the pharmacies. We were desperate, we had to. '' (7th Person, Father, 35y)
Theme 3: Coping
After their child had a colostomy, parents in this study said they accepted it by trying to view it positively or through spiritual beliefs: fatalism (see Subtheme 12).
Sub-theme 10: Acceptance
Parents stated that they later accepted their child’s colostomy, although it was initially difficult for a short time.
“…after that I got used to it.” (6th Person, Mother, 36y)
“A lot has changed, you automatically become unhappy. But we did not hurt each other. we did not get angry or upset. In fact, our bond got stronger.” (7th Person, Father, 35y)
Sub-theme 11: Looking on the positive side
Parents in the study stated that even though they had difficulty in accepting the presence of colostomy at first, understanding that worse could happen to their childrenlet to their adapting to it after a short while.
''...thank goodness, at least it is temporary, I said. I hope this too will pass, and there will be no more problems.'' (9th Person, Father, 29y)
Sub-theme 12: Spiritual beliefs: fatalism
In this study, parents who have a child with colostomy stated that they view it as Allah's will and accept it by believing that it is their destiny.
“…..I said it is from God.” (2nd Person, Mother, 19y)
"There is nothing we can do, so we have to put our trust in Allah... "So we pray to Allah to either take him or have mercy." (11th Person, Female, 35y)
“I left everything to God. I've had no worries. I trust in Allah.” (14th Person, Mother, 55y)