We interviewed 17 Flemish parents of 11 children between 1 and 6 years of age after the parents applied for a diagnostic ASD assessment of the child (Table 2).
Table 2: Sample characteristics
Child
|
Age at 1st interview
|
Sex
|
|
Interviewed parent
|
Sibling with ASD diagnosis
|
Family structure
|
|
1
|
2y9m (2.75)
|
Male
|
|
Mother
|
/ (first child)
|
Mother+Father
|
|
2
|
2y10m (2.83)
|
Male
|
|
Mother+Father
|
+
|
Mother+Father
|
|
3
|
1y11m (1.92)
|
Male
|
|
Mother+Father
|
/
|
Mother+Father
|
|
4
|
2y3m (2.25)
|
Male
|
|
Mother+Father
|
/ (first child)
|
Mother+Father
|
|
5
|
6y4m (6.33)
|
Male
|
|
Mother
|
/
|
Parents divorced, Father absent
|
|
6
|
4y (4)
|
Male
|
|
Mother+Father
|
+
|
Mother+Father
|
|
7
|
3y7m (3.58)
|
Male
|
|
Mother+Father
|
+
|
Mother+Father
|
|
8
|
4y11m (4.92)
|
Male
|
|
Mother
|
+
|
Mother+Father
|
|
9
|
4y2m (4.17)
|
Male
|
|
Mother
|
+
|
Mother+Father
|
|
10
|
5y6m (5.5)
|
Male
|
|
Mother+Father
|
/
|
Mother+Father
|
|
11
|
1y11m (1.92)
|
Male
|
|
Mother
|
+
|
Mother+Father
|
|
|
Average age 3y8m (3.65)
sd
1y5m (1.42)
|
Male
11/11 (100%)
|
|
Mother+Father
6/11
(55%)
|
Sibling with ASD diagnosis
6/11
(55%)
|
Mother+Father
10/11
(91%)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
All but one children had been referred for a diagnostic assessment by a professional, and all but one parent couples agreed with the referring professional that a diagnostic assessment of their child was indicated. The average age of the 11 children at the moment of the first of three interviews was 3y08m, sd 1y05m. The parents were all native Flemish people, and their education and employment background were diverse. All children were male. We did not ask for or score the severity of their symptoms[1] -leading to the request for an ASD assessment- but only included children without a previous diagnosis of disability, intellectual or other. Six out of 11 children were found to have an older sibling who already had an ASD diagnosis: their parents are called ‘Sib+’ as opposed to ‘Sib-‘ parents who do not have an older child diagnosed with ASD. When we could interview both parents of a child, most fathers said that they were less concerned about their child’s development and less in demand of a diagnostic assessment. However, later in the interviews, fathers’ worries appeared to be quite similar to the mothers’ worries but fathers were clearly less preoccupied with other people’s critical remarks about the child and about themselves as parents (see below).
The pre-assessment experiences of parents followed a sequential course of, as a first theme, parents and professionals noticing worrisome behaviours in the child; second, parents involving professionals as well as, in parallel, professionals addressing parents; third, ASD getting mentioned and a diagnostic ASD assessment being arranged; and fourth, parents having ambiguous feelings about the (consequences of the) possible ASD diagnosis. In this paper, we will describe the latter theme in detail[2], consisting of anticipated positive and negative implications of the diagnosis. The positive part of this theme consisted of two equally prominent subthemes: treatment-related and ‘psycho-relational’ expectations (Additional file 2).
Ambiguous Feeling about (the Consequences of) the Diagnosis
The planned diagnostic assessment of the child and his possible ASD diagnosis often aroused ambiguous feelings in the parents we interviewed: parents expected the ASD diagnosis to have both negative and positive implications.
Anticipated negative implications of an ASD diagnosis.
The expected negative implications pertained to two categories: (1) understanding ASD as being a condition ‘for life’; and (2) fearing social reactions of stigmatising and stereotyping the child.
First, both Sib+ and Sib- parents were afraid that their child would get an ASD diagnosis because this would entail the attribution of a ‘life-long’ biological condition, ‘inside there’.
Yes, it is, yes, for life, you know, just like you have your personality for life, you know. You can work on it but you will never be able to take it away entirely, it will stay inside there, you know. –Mother 3
However, some parents said that they preferred an ASD diagnosis over a diagnosis of ID because of their perception of ID being more ‘fixed’ than ASD, less amenable to progress, like the following mother said:
I don’t know, in the case of mental retardation [ID] anyway yes, then it is fixed, the child won’t catch up, he will always have it. But in the case of autism, yes, for me it’s more like, look, if we know it, we can act accordingly. –Mother 10
Second, parents feared other people’s stereotypical ideas about a diagnosed child, for example seeing all of the child’s behaviours as due to ASD, and feared the social reactions of people stigmatising both them and the child. The following mother explained her fears in this regard concerning her child who was going to be assessed. She had 3 children. The oldest one was diagnosed with a developmental syndrome with a genetic cause and a visible facial difference. He was attending a special needs school.
I’m afraid of [Child going to have a diagnostic ASD assessment] getting ‘a stamp’ at school, and that maybe [the teachers] will deprive him of possibilities. Some people will only see his autism and not the rest of him anymore, and act accordingly, even if he develops unexpectedly well. –Mother 10 (Sib-)
The fear of stigma and the fear of stereotyping were present both in Sib- parents and Sib+ parents, but for Sib+ parents this anticipation was validated by previous experiences with the older child. The next mother had several older children with an ASD diagnosis. She -and the child’s father- talked at length about their experiences with the older children:
We experienced that some [siblings with an ASD diagnosis] got ‘put in a box’. Everything that goes wrong: ‘Yes, but he’s autistic.’ And then I think, ‘But not everything has to do with autism’. You have to look at it more broadly. Sometimes the teacher can make an effort as well, even if it is autism, you know. –Mother 2 (Sib+)
Anticipated positive implications of an ASD diagnosis.
Parents anticipated several positive consequences of an ASD diagnosis. Sib+ parents and Sib- parents anticipated very similar implications, but again, for Sib+ parents this anticipation was validated by previous experiences with their older child with an ASD diagnosis. The anticipated positive consequences consisted of treatment-related and psycho-relational implications.
Anticipated treatment-related implications of an ASD diagnosis.
The parents we interviewed overall anticipated two potential implications with regard to how the child would be treated once diagnosed: (1) they were all very much aware that an ASD diagnosis entitled their child (and them) to receive services, at home, at school and in specialised treatment and guidance centres; and (2) they expected to receive professional advice concerning child-rearing practices that were more appropriate for the child. Especially Sib- parents wanted to adjust their parenting techniques at home, and both Sib- and Sib+ parents very much wished for suited adaptations at school. For all Sib+ parents, the predominant positive previous experience with their older child indeed had been that teachers were more willing to adapt their interaction with the child according to his needs once he had been diagnosed with ASD, because this diagnosis implied an objectivation of the child’s needs. The following quotes illustrate both treatment-related expectations:
But it would make things easier, really, especially because we can knock at some door and say: we have that paper, we are really entitled to receive help. Besides that, [an ASD diagnosis] wouldn’t make any difference. You have to threaten the school with the label. –Mother 9 (Sib+)
We said, ‘We will proceed with this’ and then maybe we will find ways to handle him and make him obey in a pleasant way, without it turning into a battle each time. In the end you have tried every single approach, we have tried so much, received so much advice. –Mother 4 (Sib-)
Anticipated ‘psycho-relational’ implications of an ASD diagnosis.
Both Sib+ and Sib- parents also anticipated many ‘psycho-relational’ implications of an ASD diagnosis, related to their psychological and relational experiences. The most frequently mentioned implications were: (1) understanding; (2) recognition; (3) reduced expectations -towards themselves as parents and towards the child; and (4) exculpation -of themselves and of the child.
First, many parents expected to better understand the behaviours of their child once he would be diagnosed with ASD, in two ways: having an explanation of the child’s behaviours, but also being more tolerant towards them.
Maybe our vision of him will change, because maybe [with a diagnosis] we will understand him better, how he experiences things and actually receives things. That this is different after all. And how we can adapt our approach accordingly. –Father 4
Moreover, these parents felt that such an understanding was really necessary for people around them. Also, two mothers thought this understanding would contribute to the child’s better self-understanding or self-knowledge once he would be older, like the following mother with a teenage daughter with an ASD diagnosis:
Yes, because these are two people [the child and his older sister with an ASD diagnosis] who always think: it’s the other person [’s fault]. And if you know this about yourself [that you have ASD, then you will think:] ‘I also have a share in this [conflict] although I am not always aware of it. But maybe I have to ask the other person: am I doing something wrong or am I not adapting enough to you?’ –Mother 8
When parents elaborated on ASD’s causational explanation, they always understood it as a mainly heritable, but certainly biological -genetic and/or neurological- condition.
For me, yes, I can describe it very concisely: strange behaviour. –Father 10
And strange behaviour as a consequence of…? –DJ
A kink in the brain that’s not right. That’s my simple argumentation. –Father 10
Second, several parents felt that an ASD diagnosis would provide some social recognition of their concerns about the child’s behaviours by objectifying these concerns. They expected that the recognition of their concerns would be soothing to themselves, and would also have a positive effect on the opinions and reactions of other people because they would view the parental concerns as legitimate. The following mother and her only child had a difficult time in the day care centre. The child carers told her that her son was not sleeping and eating well in the centre because he was stubborn.
I kind of have, um, I want to know something, so not just being told ‘Yes, he is indeed a stubborn one’. Um, I really want to know. In that case [when he will be diagnosed with ASD], a burden will really be taken off my shoulders. –Mother 1
Third, a diagnosis was found to regularly make parents temper their expectations both towards their own child-rearing practices, and towards their child’s good behaviours and development. In other words, the parents expected not to think anymore that their child-rearing practices had to meet the same standards (i.e. as before, and as with ‘normal’ siblings and other children). Moreover, the child would not be required anymore to meet the same expectations as other children of his age, both on behalf of the parents and of other adults (like teachers and family members). Often parents, both Sib+ and Sib-, had already been adapting their educational practices towards the child (i.e. before the diagnostic assessment started), but a diagnosis was experienced as a proof that the parents were right to do so, for example by affirming that they were not spoiling the child by reducing their expectations. The following mother had 2 children. Her 3-year old daughter already had an ASD diagnosis. She told how she adapted her educational “principles”:
I can still be angry, you know, for sure (laughing). But I learn a lot from [the child and his sibling with an ASD diagnosis], I learn to downplay many things, I don’t make a struggle out of everything, as I would have done before. Before, I would have stuck to my principles. Now, I am adapting my former ideal image about education. (laughing) –Mother 11
Fourth, parents often expected a diagnosis to lift blame both from themselves and from their child. A diagnosis might absolve the parents and their child-rearing practices from responsibility for the difficult or different behaviours of the child. Also, these parents felt that their child would no longer be accountable for these behaviours if he would be given an ASD diagnosis. To the following mother (already cited above) the child carers from the day care centre said that her son was annoying and spoiled i.a. because he was allowed to sleep in the parents’ bed:
Suppose it really is autism or something like that, then I will send a fierce email [to the day care centre] to tell that ‘my stubborn, annoying child who gets spoiled by me’ has a condition. –Mother 1
[1] As a matter of fact, to our knowledge, the severity score of the ASD diagnosis as added to the DSM-5 diagnostic criteria, is never scored in Flemish clinical practices.
[2] The three other themes are described in (53).