For participants, expressing their ‘feminine identity’ included dressing in normatively feminine clothes, using feminine terms, pronouns and names, as well as other feminine attributes and mannerisms. Participants’ gender identity and expression changed often in the way they referred to themselves and how others referred to them in different contexts. We first provide a descriptive table of terms that participants and people used throughout the study for referring to their gender identity. We then present case descriptions as examples to illustrate how gender was navigated by different participants in different contexts.
Description of terms participants use to describe their gender identity and gender expression
Participants used a variety of gender identity expressions and ways of referring to themselves. These terms and gender expressions were, however, context bound, referring to people, time and place. Table 1 shows the terms used by participants as well as situations where their gender identity might be expressed in a more masculine and feminine manner.
The table illustrates pseudonym birth given names of the participants (which relate to their masculine biological assigned sex at birth) and then some participants used self-assigned names and nicknames connected to their feminine identity. All names here are fictional pseudonyms that illustrate this pattern. For example, Simone’s birth given name is Owen Andrews, but she has chosen the name Simone as it more accurately connects to her feminine gender identity. Alongside gender-typical names, we show a variety of terms used by participants throughout the study in their interviews. These are terms that others might use to refer to them or ones that they use to refer to themselves. The term “moffie” for example is a derogatory Afrikaans term used to refer to effeminate gay men, with possible origins from the Dutch “mofrodiet” for ‘hermaphrodite’ [18, 19]. Most of the participants used the word as a self-claimed term to refer to themselves and their friends and peers. ‘Moffie’ is also often used by community members to address the transfeminine women we interviewed and their peers. Most of the terms used by participants are feminine identifying terms, like femgay, queen, woman or feminine, but they also sometimes used terms related to their biological assigned male sex at birth like man, guy and male. Some terms also had particular reference to their sexual orientation or sex role, like bottom (referring to their preference as receptive anal sex partners) or gay. The table also portrays situations where participants used either feminine or masculine identities depending on the situation. For example, Simone explained that she used feminine gender identity expression terms amongst transfeminine and gay peers and with her romantic partners, whereas her family members (e.g. sister, cousins and aunts) typically referred to her in a masculine way by using her birth given name, Owen.
Case examples of how gender identity was expressed differently for these women depending on their contexts
24-year-old Simone Owen Andrews is from Town D, a mixed metro and low-income community in the Western Cape. Simone is living with HIV and identifies with the term “transgender woman”, however she also uses the term “gay”. Growing up she always felt and behaved in a feminine manner, playing mostly with girls, cross-dressing, and in this way of being, she told us that people could distinguish that she was not a heterosexual boy. She often uses the term ‘gay’ to refer to herself. Some people still call her by her masculine birth name, Owen, which could potentially mean her having to negotiate a masculine component of her identity (that in some ways she is still seen as a man by some people). Below is an excerpt from an interview in April 2017 where she uses a ‘gay’ identity term:
Researcher okay but then how do you see yourself? You know if they talk about LGBT- or a range of categories, what, how do you categorise yourself?
Simone for now it is “gay”
Researcher just gay?
Simone yes
For Simone and most of the study participants, their feminine gender identity was present from a young age and they have seen it develop over time as they started dressing in feminine clothes, participating in drag/modelling shows and being the woman in their romantic and sexual relationships.
Stacey (born Benjamin Martins) is a 29-year-old self-identified ‘femgay’ individual also living with HIV. She lives in an informal community at the outskirts of a winelands farming town in the Western Cape. Stacey does not live with her immediate family. She lives a very mobile/transient lifestyle, moving between different houses in the immediate neighbourhood and relying on extended family members, friends and other femgay peers to support her with a place to stay, food and other necessities. Even though Stacey might fall under the transgender umbrella as a transfeminine woman, she actually took offence when in an early interview the interviewer mistakenly labelled her gender identification as transgender, as seen in the excerpt below in June 2016:
Researcher We have a lot of things we are interested in, in sex and love and like how many partners people have had and like where does a person meet, like that’s very interesting for me, especially if a person’s transgender, like
(Stacey interrupts her)
Stacey Me? transgender? (As her voice squeaked in disbelief and she seems to be taken aback).
(Researcher tries to regather her words, but Stacey continues)
I’m femgay (she proudly responds)
Curella (Conry Jenkings), a 28-year-old transfeminine woman, also identifies as 'femgay '. She lives outside the Cape Town metropole with her mother, sister and her mother’s boyfriend. Her family and extended family, living with her, address her as Conry and it’s also how she refers to herself. However, dressing and being a woman is how she feels most comfortable and one of the places that she gets to be her full, cross-dressing and feminine self is at cross-dressing modelling shows. Her modelling and feminine name is Curella. She explained her ‘femgay’ identity below (August 2016):
Researcher what is a drag queen?
Conry a drag queen is similar to us in that they also do shows (pause) like put on dresses, and like heels and stuff like that (pause) and then you get
Researcher but is a drag queen necessarily someone who is gay?
Conry yes … and you have them, they are gay but he doesn’t put on women’s clothes, he wears normal men’s clothes
Researcher and so you would distinguish between the two?
Conry yes you get uhm femgay and then you get (drag queens)
Steven Jansen lives in a small wooden house, which is in the backyard of her aunt’s house, with her mother, father and sister, who all view her as a gay man. Steven, like most of the women we interviewed, used a variety of terms to refer to her gender and sexual identity, including gay, femgay and ‘moffie’. Steven has also navigated her gender identity from a young age and even though she is more assured of her feminine gender identity, it still takes navigation in different spaces as she explains about going out socialising at night:
Now a lot of them have made the excuse that “you are more of a woman than ... women really are”. That is their excuse ... like last night I was sitting in company ... then a guy brought me water and I told him, “ah you are too sweet”, and gave him a kiss on the cheek and then he told me, “Jesus!” and his friend said, “God, you do everything just like a real woman, just like a real woman is supposed to do”.
(Steven, May 2017)
Sizwe identifies as MSM but uses feminine pronouns and terms to refer to herself. For Sizwe, her gender identity expression, or the way she has to navigate it, is also influenced by cultural significance associated with spaces, as she is expected as a biological male to go through traditional rites of passage and circumcision into manhood. She explained in a later interview that if she were to go through initiation that it wouldn’t be for herself. She would do it purely for cultural obedience. She explicitly stated that she wouldn’t comply with some of the post-initiation observances, like dressing in a jacket and hat. Similarly, when men get together for traditional ceremonies they will sit together in a fenced-off area called a “kraal”. Below is her reaction to the researcher in explaining her gender role amongst men in the kraal:
Researcher okay and then now when you have to sit in the kraal will you sit then with other men maybe?
Sizwe if I am going to sit, I will arrive in the kraal, my dear, but otherwise I won’t sit long. I won’t continuously ... what do I want in the kraal?
Researcher it’s a man among men there
Sizwe I am so weak (hinting at her feminine traits)
Researcher you would have also been a man according to culture
Sizwe you can see I am weak … oh no I am not a man you see me dear
(November 2016)
Girlie Gregory Jones and Patricia Arends are two transfeminine women who do sex work. Sex work for them is not a choice, but something they were both coerced into and stayed in as a means of survival. Their navigation of their gender identities was fraught with even more challenges and problems as they have to deal with coercive gangsters who force them into sex work, as well as clients with whom they have to navigate their gender identity.
Below, Girlie expresses the confusion with which she doesn’t actively seem to have to consider whether she is a man or woman; but the realisation that she has aspects of both, even though she identifies more as a woman:
I just am the way I am, see? I am a man but I like dressing like this ... I know I am a man but I feel like a woman, do you see? ... I just am like this.
(August 2017)