This participant observation and interview-based ethnographic study helped to understand the challenges of self-stigma among people with CL in Tigrai. It also provides insights into the cultural constructions of CL and the ways in which it affects social participation and well-being of people with CL. The major themes that emerged from the data included: self-stigmatization, and internalization of negative attitudes; ostracization, isolation and rejection; physical and emotional distress, and coping strategies.
Self-stigmatization
Most participants reported that they had internalized negative attitudes and beliefs related to their appearance. They felt that they were responsible for the disease, and that their actions or lifestyle choices may have led to their infection. One participant said, "I feel guilty of having it, I think that this disease happened to me because of my unhygienic ways." They also expressed feelings of shame and embarrassment and perceived themselves as unclean and unattractive. Many participants reported experiencing negative attitudes and discrimination from others due to their disfigurement caused by CL. Several participants reported internalizing these attitudes and developing feelings of shame and low self-esteem. They described themselves as “ugly” and “dirty” and feared being rejected by others. The level of internalizing negative attitudes may vary from one participant to other. One Participant indicated his feeling as
When I first discovered the sores on my body due to cutaneous leishmaniasis, I felt embarrassed and hated the way I looked. I avoided going out in public, and when I did, I would cover up my skin with long-sleeved shirts and pants to hide my lesions (Solomon, 29).
Above all the participants’ indicated that the lesion on their face become sources of embarrassment and shame and affect their possibility of dating and establishing social relations. This is stated by one woman participant as:
Having cutaneous leishmaniasis lesion made me feel like an outcast. I was scared of being judged and excluded by other people. Even now, I am hesitant to tell anyone about my condition, especially when it comes to dating or meeting new people (Gidey, 24).
Another woman participant at the age of 35 explained her current situation as result of the cutaneous leishmaniasis lesion saying:
As a woman, I felt self-conscious and anxious about how my cutaneous leishmaniasis lesions would affect my appearance and femininity. I would avoid social events and feel embarrassed when people stared at me. But I realized that I'm more than my skin. I'm still a beautiful and strong woman, even with my imperfections (Lemlem, 35).
Generally, participants are reported their experience with self-stigmatization as result of CL is manifested using strong emotionally loaded statements and explanations like, I felt like a monster, as if I was contagious and nobody wanted to be around me"; "I was ashamed of my skin, I stopped going out with my friends and family, and I refused to attend social events"; "I felt like people were judging me and avoiding me because of my skin condition"; "I became extremely self-conscious and would avoid eye contact with people when speaking to them”; "I would avoid going to public events because I was afraid of being stared at or judged by others"; "I felt like I was a burden on my family and friends, I didn't want to be a source of embarrassment for them"; "I felt isolated and alone, like nobody understood what I was going through"; "I felt like my self-worth had diminished, like I wasn't a complete person anymore"; "I underestimated my abilities and started doubting myself; I stopped going after certain things I wanted to achieve in life"; "I wished that I could disappear and not attract any attention or negative comments".
Ostracization, isolation and rejection
Participants reported that their condition led to ostracization and rejection from their communities, workplaces and even some family members. Many participants mentioned that they avoided social gatherings or going out of their homes due to the fear of being ridiculed or judged by others. One participant expressed, "people treat us like we carry a contagious disease, and they don't want to touch us or even be in the same room with us." Participants reported experiencing exclusion and isolation from their communities, friends, and family members. Many participants had to avoid social situations such as weddings and parties in fear of being judged or ridiculed by others. This isolation resulted in feelings of loneliness and depression. Ostracization, isolation and rejection of people with cutaneous leishmaniasis are unfortunately a very common occurrence of many of the participants across the study communities. This disease is often misunderstood and people suffering from it are often ostracized, isolated and excluded. One quote from one participant reads, "People fear me because they think I have contagious and a dangerous disease. They avoid me and this makes me feel very lonely". This sentiment is echoed by many others who experience similar condition.
The stigma associated with leishmaniasis is due to the visible nature of the skin lesions associated with the disease. People are often afraid to come into close contact with those affected for fear of contracting the disease themselves. One participant with explained his experience as, "People don't want to touch me or even stand near to me. It's like I am a leper. The sad part is they don't even take the time to educate themselves about the disease nature".
The social isolation caused by ostracization and rejection can have a significant impact on the mental health of those affected by CL. One individual stated, "I feel like I am in a prison. I can't go outside because people stare at me and avoid me. It's very depressing". This person's experience is not uncommon, and the impact on mental health can often be severe. Similarly, Selam 25 said, “Even my own family members were afraid to hug or kiss me. They would make me feel like an outcast and avoid me at all costs. It was heartbreaking". The degree of ostracization, isolation and rejection can be extended to the extent of firing people from workplace. One young man working in men’s beauty salon indicated that “I lost my job because of my condition. My boss said that I was a liability and that the other employees were scared to work with me. It was devastating and I still struggle to find work”.
In conclusion, the ostracization, isolation, and rejection of people with CL is a sad reality that needs to be addressed. As one participant with the disease noted, "People need to be educated about the disease, as this will lead to acceptance and the reduction of social stigma". Increasing awareness and understanding of the condition can help reduce the social exclusion experienced by those experiencing CL.
Physical and emotional distress
All participants reported physical and emotional distress associated with the appearance of the skin lesions caused by CL. One participant stated, "It is affecting me very badly, causing me too much pain, preventing me from doing my daily activities." Another participant added, "I feel depressed; I feel like withdrawing myself from everything because I am afraid of being mocked and judged." The participants reported feelings of sadness, anger, anxiety, and fear related to the disease and how it affected their lives. One participant explained that as
The lesions on my skin make it difficult for me to move around and perform daily activities. They are painful and itchy, and sometimes bleed. I feel like I am a burden to my family because they have to help me with everything (Tesfay, 22).
Many reported difficulty sleeping and had vivid nightmares about their physical appearance and social rejection and emotional distress. Mekdes 21 explained her experience as follow;
The pain from cutaneous leishmaniasis has become unbearable. It feels like a constant burning sensation, and I can't sleep or concentrate on anything else. The medications I am taking to treat it have side effects that add to my discomfort (Mekdes, 21).
In addition to the physical pain, participants also reported their emotional distress and experience with the lesion and its treatment outcomes showing their uncertainty and continuous suffering. Letberhan is with active CL lesion sharing her experiences on this saying the following;
I am afraid of my future with cutaneous leishmaniasis. I don't know how long I will have to suffer, or if the treatments will work. I worry about the impact on my career, relationships, and mental health. It's hard not to feel overwhelmed and hopeless (Letberhan, 36).
The participants resonated as living with CL has taken a toll on their mental health. They indicated feelings of depression, anxiety, and hopeless are common manifestation on their daily activity. They boldly explained it is hard for them to find joy in anything when their physical and emotional suffering is so constant and overwhelming. As CL modern treatment is not introduced to many of the communities, participants also explained their experience on the co-morbidity nature of CL with other secondary infections. Fisseha elaborated his experience on this as;
I have developed secondary infections and complications from cutaneous leishmaniasis lesion. My immune system is weakened, and I am more susceptible to other illnesses and injuries. It's hard to feel like my body is no longer my own and that I am constantly battling multiple health issues (Fisseha, 49).
Collectively the experiences of the participants have shown that the physical distress from Cutaneous Leishmaniasis was unbearable and has become a constant source of worries. The disease took a toll on their relationships, both romantic and platonic, causing work impairment and makes them a burden of their family and others.
Coping strategies
Despite the significant challenges posed by CL, the participants developed coping strategies to deal with the negative impacts of the disease. Several participants reported seeking support from their family members and friends, while others sought professional counseling. Others try to find support from their religious beliefs, which provided them comfort and strength in dealing with their condition. Many participants indicated the solace they found from religion is found to be crucial. It is stated that it had helped them to cope with the feelings of shame and embarrassment. Others looked for support from family members, who often acted as a source of emotional and psychological support. One Married woman explained her experience as;
I used to be so confident in my skin, but the lesions caused by cutaneous leishmaniasis made me feel ashamed and isolated. I thought people would see me as weak, dirty, or diseased. It was tough to cope with self-stigmatization, but care and support from my loved ones helped me to accept myself despite my condition (Mehret, 38).
Some participants also happened to see their CL experience to developed resilient and hardy personality to deal with associated challenges. Wozam a woman with big lesion on her face mentioned her experience saying this;
I have been living with CL for years, and it has changed my life in many ways, both positive and negative. I have become more resilient, compassionate, and grateful for the little things that I had never before. I have also met other people with similar conditions and formed a supportive local network at least to discuss and share my experiences. But at the same time I have faced discrimination, rejection, and limited opportunities due to my appearance and health status. I have also struggled with pain, fatigue, and anxiety that are often ignored or misunderstood by others (Wozam, 31).
Other participants also happened to use avoiding social interactions and public gatherings as coping strategy till their lesion get healed. Teklay a father of two kids, who have an active CL lesion on his face said,
CL is misunderstood by most people. When I have joined a group of people, they started murmuring about me staring at my lesion. Some of them send signals of disrespect and stigma in different way. I am cognizant of this whenever I met group of people. Hence, I do not feel comfortable with such reactions; I usually prefer to avoid joining any social and group gatherings (Teklay, 46).
In conclusion, people with CL use various coping strategies that help them to deal with different social, psychological and emotional distress and associated stigma. The types of coping strategy used by all people who are participated in this study found to be varied.