We identified five themes centred on the impact of diagnosis: (i) Denial and acceptance (three sub-themes: Denial of diagnosis; Acceptance of diagnosis; Conflict between denial and acceptance); (ii) Stigma of diagnosis; (iii) The process of diagnosis, (iv) Identity and sense of the self (two sub-themes: The lost self; Constructing and maintaining a sense of self); and (v) Receiving, finding, and providing support.
Theme 1: Denial and acceptance
This theme related to the denial or acceptance of a diagnosis of schizophrenia. The theme was divided into three sub-themes- denial, acceptance, and a conflict between denial and acceptance.
(i) Denial of diagnosis
Denial of diagnosis included feeling like an imposter, denying the existence of the condition, feeling that personal experience is not consistent with the diagnosis, and reluctance to be labelled / put ‘in a box’. Imposter syndrome was apparent in individuals such as Poster 1, who disclosed that “I was in total denial for about a year or two. I did not think my symptoms were severe enough to be a schizophrenic”. Many others perceived schizophrenia to be a serious, life-changing illness and did not feel that their experiences were consistent with the label. For instance, Poster 26 stated that they “… can't shake the feeling of faking it for attention. I have been in the hospital several times but this thought keeps coming up”. Shame and fear were apparent in many of the posts, such as a reply to Poster 26 who noted that…” I am so terrified that I actually do not have any mental illnesses and I’m just faking it all”.
Some posters also had difficulty accepting the diagnosis because their voices were insisting that the hallucinations were real. For instance, a response to Poster 1 stated that “Am I the only person struggling to accept the diagnosis because the voices insist they are real people? My voices do a lot of mind reading and respond to my thoughts. If I try to remind myself I’m having delusions, one of the voices says “I’m not letting you walk around thinking you have schizophrenia”. In addition, some posters doubted the credibility of the DSM diagnosis. They discussed their dislike for having complicated experiences put ‘in a box’, and talked about how psychiatry had a limited capacity to understand people. For instance, a response to poster 21 stated that “I am diagnosed as having schizophrenia. However, I think that psychiatry is a feeble attempt to understand something that is simply beyond its limitations as an institution.”
(ii) Acceptance of diagnosis
Posters who accepted their diagnosis reported that diagnosis was a good fit with their experience, and how the benefits of diagnosis (e.g., validation of experiences; increasing understanding of self; and aiding in healing) outweigh any potential costs. In addition, many reported that accepting diagnosis can take time, but the acceptance is crucial for accessing help. Posters commented that they accepted their diagnosis and felt bad for others who were in denial. For instance, a response to Poster 21 stated that “Sadly, I am certain I have this sickness. Weird and sad when other people question their diagnosis and are not aware they have schizophrenia”.
Others accepted the diagnosis, but with a degree of scepticism. For example, Poster 6 discussed how they “...believe that the diagnosis is right for my experiences. However, I still believe that my experiences are real, and that rather than illness, schizophrenia label is just one way to categorise real experiences”. Posts like these demonstrate how accepting the diagnosis is a complicated process. Some individuals talked about working actively to accept their diagnosis. For example, one response to Poster 1 discussed how they “...actually had to do 6 months of therapy to accept the diagnosis as I was told I should. I still don’t feel it’s accurate, but it does not matter.”
Posters also reported that diagnosis validated their experience, was related to increased understanding and accepting that one needs help. A response to Poster 3 said that they would “...feel invalidated if I don’t have anything to label myself with”. Another response talked about how “ After my second hospitalisation, I did some research and found out that schizophrenia affects you way before you have an episode. I found that it explains a lot of why I am the way I am. I have learned to embrace it and it is really healing”. The benefits of accepting the diagnosis were articulated in a response to Poster 22, who thought that the benefits outweigh the downsides of the diagnosis “...you know what is going on. You have a handle on your warning signs and symptoms. The doctors can treat you accurately and your health team knows immediately how to help you. You will have a better understanding of yourself and how your brain works. It was such a relief to get the diagnosis, because I finally felt in control and in the know.” The feeling of being in control, understanding what is going on, and accepting help were positive sides of accepting schizophrenia diagnosis.
(iii) Conflict between denial and acceptance
Many of the posters changed position between acceptance and denial, suggesting that acceptance is a complex process, where people periodically change between accepting and doubting the diagnosis. This switching between acceptance and denial was clear in Poster 26, who wrote that "On one hand, I feel like it's not severe enough and on the other hand I feel it's really severe. My mind keeps going from one idea to the other periodically and it is exhausting. I wish I could accept the diagnosis without constantly doubting it". Some posts also demonstrated how it is possible to simultaneously accept and reject the diagnosis. Poster 6 stated that " I believe the diagnosis is correct for my experiences but I still firmly think that my experiences are real and happening. The label is a way to categorise real experiences and not an illness…Although I do have short periods of thinking of it as an illness. Schizophrenia is a scary diagnosis to have…but I do feel thankful that I have a name to my experiences as it feels much easier to cope with and explain. It’s just really scary."
Other posters reported that they avoided ‘overthinking’ the diagnosis, preferring to focus on adherence to treatment, and not letting the diagnosis define who they are. For example, a response to Poster 1 stated that “Whatever is wrong with me, I need to take my medication. I need to move on with life. This is the right mindset- try to be better rather than try to find out which box you fit in. I will probably never know anyways”. Indeed, though many posters doubted their diagnosis, it was associated with access to medication and recovery. Although many doubted the long-term benefits of medication, they were unsure how to cope without it. For example, a response to Poster 10 commented “I doubt my diagnosis a lot of the time, but taking medication seems to keep me out of the bin. I agree that in the long-term, medication is poison to your brain. I just don't know how to deal with psychosis without it”. Poster 16 was in the process of receiving a diagnosis and was doubtful about the utility of diagnosis when care is accessible without it “I understand that diagnosis could help me to get better treatment. I don’t know what else can be done as I’m already on antipsychotics and see a psychiatrist and a therapist. I just can’t see what more can be done”.
Theme 2: Stigma of diagnosis
The stigma theme related to discussions of self-stigma, behaviour to avoid other-stigma, and mental health professional refusal to give a diagnosis because of stigma. Other posters reported that that they were content, if not ’loud and proud’ to share their diagnosis openly in order to reduce the stigma associated with the schizophrenia label.
People often revealed mixed feelings about the potential for discrimination. For example, a person responding to Poster 5 stated that “although I don't think you should worry about discrimination for being schizophrenic, I would not go around telling people I'm schizophrenic. It may scare people off, and I would personally keep it confidential”. Therefore, though people may not believe stigma is widespread, concerns may still prevent disclosure of the diagnosis.
The posters discussed self-stigma and other-stigma as a downside of receiving a diagnosis. Many posters felt like they were a failure, with few future prospects. In the words of Poster 22, the schizophrenia label resulted in “feeling utterly worthless and defective” and that any other label would be better, such as “bipolar diagnosis is better than getting anything with the word schizo in it”. Posters also raised concerns that they would be discriminated against by friends, relatives, colleagues, and healthcare professionals if disclosing their diagnosis. For instance, Poster 36 speculated that they would not be believed by their doctor because of the diagnosis, “when I visit my family doctor and they look at my record and see I have schizophrenia, are they just going to think I’m crazy and delusional and whatever I’m feeling is not real?”. The potential for diagnostic overshadowing’ during visits to the doctor on issues unrelated to schizophrenia diagnosis was a cause for concern.
Concerns relating to preconceived ideas of schizophrenia were evident in response to Poster 13, who discussed their experiences in a psychiatric ward “There is a massive stigma that people who experience psychosis are all drug users living off benefits. You can tell this by the treatment in psychiatric wards. They don’t expect people to be working or running their own businesses." Consequently, posters were concerned about how the stigma of diagnosis could negatively affect their professional and family lives. For example, Poster 7 was concerned about how the stigma of diagnosis could affect multiple aspects of life, “I'm currently in the medical field. My licence is under review because my old boss reported me as "medically unfit"... he just hated the decisions I made. I am now scared that I will lose my licence permanently. I want to become a doctor. I am a parent, and I don't know how this will affect my life now".
Some of the stigma -related concerns centred on perceptions of dangerousness and losing autonomy. For instance, a person responding to Poster 13 complained how they are “terrified of people knowing I’m schizophrenic because nine times out of ten they either treat you like an incompetent child, or as if you were dangerous. I am neither, I'm a functioning adult! But people just assume you cannot be an adult if you are mentally ill”. Although the majority of posters were reluctant to disclose a diagnosis, some were ‘loud and proud. A response to Poster 11 reported that they are happy to talk about the diagnosis to everybody because they are "..trying to destigmatize it and talk about the “scary” mental illnesses. Most people are okay with it. My partner’s mom doesn’t like me tho partially cuz of that but it’s whatever". Others were shy to disclose at first, but not ashamed of the diagnosis once people knew. A response to Poster 11 said that "when people know, I wear it like a badge of honor. I’ll even make crazy jokes on occasions. It took many years to reach that level of comfort. I used to just say “it’s under control with medication” and never say anything else about it”.
Stigma also resulted in strategic disclosure, where individuals shared the diagnosis in some instances (e.g., places of education) but not others (e.g., when meeting new people). A person replying to Poster 13 wrote that "I don’t mind if people know. I don’t advertise it but I chose to share it with my university. I didn’t with my last university. The more I do the easier it becomes”. When meeting new people, the same individual discussed how they like to get to know their friends before disclosure and gauge their attitudes towards mental illness. For example, “Not all my friends know though. I like to get to know someone first. Mental illness often comes up in conversation anyway, which gives me a chance to gauge their reaction and thoughts on it". Stigma also impacted on health care professionals’ willingness to provide a diagnosis, even when the person preferred to have the label. For instance, Poster 20 stated how “my hospital team discussed how they want me to achieve my goal of becoming a doctor one day, and they don’t want me to have the stigma of a psychotic illness”. Posters who talked about being denied a diagnosis because it is stigmatising generally thought that it was a negative experience.
Theme 3: The process of diagnosis
The diagnostic process was, for most, a long and complicated journey. Sometimes, this was because mental health professionals were unsure about the correct diagnosis or lacked clarity in communicating the diagnosis. Indeed, some posters had an experience of receiving a diagnosis or a diagnostic shift without their knowledge, which often came as a surprise. Many discussed a journey of diagnosis shifts, and the length of time that it took to receive a diagnosis that the person could identify with. The process of diagnosis was also coloured by lack of trust in doctors.
For many, it took years before they were provided with a diagnosis that they felt reflected their experiences. According to Poster 6 "The journey from the start of my psychosis to a clear diagnosis was 9 years”. During the diagnosis journey, diagnostic shifts were common. Many posters reported multiple diagnoses, sometimes from multiple healthcare providers, and sometimes from the same doctor. For example, Poster 35 was confused after receiving multiple diagnoses from the same doctor " I am currently hospitalised and they told me that my diagnosis has changed to Schizoaffective. I was in the same hospital a month ago and my discharge paperwork said acute psychosis, schizophrenia, and bipolar 1. I have been to the hospital 9 times and the diagnosis is never consistent. Am I doing something wrong, or is it a lack of insight from the Doctor? He seems to change diagnosis every visit".
A response to Poster 6 outlined how they would like to receive a clear diagnosis that would help communication with healthcare professionals, but how they are “ …still on that roller coaster haha. I’ve had depression with psychotic features, cluster A personality disorder, and now my psychiatrist says maybe schizoaffective and my psychologist says maybe delusional disorder”. The lack of diagnostic consistency impacted on the perceived credibility of psychiatry. For instance, discussing diagnosis from two separate psychiatrists, Poster 7 reported “my previous one said I have schizoaffective disorder (depressive type) and the current one said I have psychotic depression. The problem is that neither diagnosis fits neatly. .. I guess I am just disappointed that psychiatry is not objective science, with multiple answers to the same situation".
Some posters were denied a diagnosis because they presented as articulate or high-functioning. They reported that their input was ignored and healthcare providers based decisions on how the person looks, sounds, or whether they are in employment. For instance, Poster 32 shared how they were "..told I could not be schizoaffective because I did not look sick and I have always had a job" . Similar experiences were echoed by a responder to the post who said how they "..have all the symptoms of schizophrenia but can’t get diagnosed because I can talk properly and I have good social skills. I don't " seem psychotic". It is so wrong". Further, professionals made clinical decisions after brief consultations, with the potential for stereotypes to influence diagnosis. According to Poster 13, "I wanted to finally get someone to give me the diagnosis. The new doctor talked to me on the phone ONCE and ended up concluding that I’m too articulate. People with schizophrenia don’t speak as well as I do”. The posters often commented that it was difficult to be taken seriously by the healthcare providers.
Some posters reported that diagnoses and diagnostic shifts were not communicated to them by healthcare professionals, which eroded any trust that the service users had in the providers and the diagnostic processes. According to Poster 7, "I had to get my medical records for something and I noticed my paranoid schizophrenia diagnosis had been changed? No one told me. Apparently it’s schizoaffective now? I don’t care that it was changed. It’s just the fact no one bothered to tell me! I’m scared that they hid it from me on purpose. Otherwise, why not tell me? I don’t understand". The secretiveness and lack of communication was a cause of concern and distress for the posters.
Theme 4: Identity and sense of the self
The theme was comprised of two sub-themes, The lost self and Constructing and maintaining a sense of self. These reflected both reports from Posters who felt that they had lost their old identities and mourned for their former self, and shoes who discussed creating and maintaining new identities.
(i) The lost self
Posters discussed the loss of their former self. For example, Poster 17 reported “I’m so sad because I miss the happy go lucky, strong woman I was…And now I’m a shell of her. You know? It’s definitely miserable.” Identity loss was also related to career plans, also discussed by Poster 17 “ I just can’t help but feel crushed. I had hopes and dreams. I was very accomplished in my career for my age and I had to resign due to these issues. People have been saying I can be whatever I want but I can’t lol.” The lost self was also discussed in relation to lack of self-care and loss of control of one’s own life. Poster 15 noted that “I do enjoy my life, but I am just so tired. I don’t go out anymore. I don’t cook fancy meals anymore. I am not the person who I was six months ago...Is becoming a lazy piece of garbage a symptom of schizophrenia?” The change in identity was exacerbated by the changed perceptions of loved ones after the diagnosis. For example, a response to Post 1 commented, “..I still want people to see me as the person I once was. I went from being the most outgoing person in the room to saying literally nothing around anyone. It’s hard when you have an image of who you’re supposed to be & subconsciously monitoring every little decision you and others make”.
(ii) Constructing and maintaining a sense of self
Many posters discussed actively working towards the construction and maintenance of a new sense of self. Poster 24 commented "...I attach emotional significance more to some labels than to others. Schizophrenia for me carries a lot of weight. Remember you are the one who knows best your symptoms and experiences. You can choose how to identify with the labels". For some posters, schizophrenia was framed as a spiritual human experience. A response to Poster 21 explained how they believe that”... what the people around me label as "psychosis," is a natural spiritual journey for me. I only accepted the diagnosis and everything because I wasn't in the mood to resist. So, yes, I often think I don't have schizophrenia… I simply don't care anymore as I no longer suffer from the same symptoms that previously troubled me.” The idea of psychosis as a spiritual journey was also reflected in another response to Poster 21, where the individual had very little faith in psychiatry and the diagnostic categories. They stated how “...The DSM is just an over glorified dictionary that describes the states that people find themselves in. Of course, this is not to detract from the intensity of the symptoms in psychotic episodes.. But I have learned this- it comes down to your focus and what ideas you feed .. I personally believe for some of us the barrier between things seen and unseen is thinner”.
Theme 5: Receiving, finding, and providing support.
Posts frequently discussed support from a range of sources including the Reddit community, friends, family, and health care professionals. People discussed their experiences of receiving support, shared advice on how to find support, and actively provided support to each other.
The importance of the Reddit community was clear. Writing one’s story in the discussion forum was perceived to be as useful as receiving help from a medical professional. For example, Poster 15 shared their story about receiving a diagnosis, and wrote how “...it feels so good to have a community like this. I will talk to my doctor, but writing that out and posting it gave me the same effect”. Many posters reported that the Reddit community provided a source of hope and a place where personal stories could be shared. Indeed, Poster 17 requested inspirational stories from other community members to support their own diagnostic experience, “I was wondering if anybody else was as bothered as I am over coming to terms with this diagnosis? If anyone has success stories, please share as I would love to read some happy stories. Any advice on how to accept this would be greatly appreciated”. On receiving these stories, they posted “Thank you so much for sharing your story. You were a lovely teacher and you are still continuing to make a difference in people’s lives…This gives me a lot of hope especially as I want to pursue a career in psychology and be some type of school councellor, therapist, or social worker. Congrats on your job- I’m sure you are making a positive difference in those peoples lives”!
Similarly, a person responding to Poster 25 encouraged the poster to “Hang in there. It can be challenging to have your whole trajectory redirected by discovering a mental illness and receiving a diagnosis. Your normal life is whatever you make of it. Having schizophrenia can be challenging, but a lot of us find that we can still have fulfilling lives”. The same person found the Reddit community useful as a place where peer-support could be given and received, writing that “I find that coming to this forum really helps me as I find a lot of people who go through similar situations as I do. There are all sorts of people here, and usually, there are going to be people who relate to what is going on”. A person responding to Poster 30 offered hope by writing that…” I believe there is hope. It is a wild ride, but I’m sure you will see a light at the end of the tunnel soon”.
Friends, family, and health-care professionals were also identified as a source of support by many of the posters. For example, a person responding to Poster 21 talked about how they “...received a lot of therapy which has helped along the way, but the greatest element of help is just having good friends. They help me to normalise the situation and develop healthier patterns”. A response to Poster 23 reported, “I am grateful for my therapist, who went to get specialised training so she could learn how to help people with schizophrenia”. Another person, responding to Poster 25, discussed how “In therapy, I picked up coping methods such as CBT. I have also discovered an App that helps me to keep a routine”. Although posters discussed difficulties with family, friends, and healthcare professionals (as outlined in other themes), it was clear that they could be a substantial source of support.