1.1 Reducing avoidance, providing reassurance
Many parents reported that they actively avoid talking to their children about weight due to the stigma they perceived to surround childhood overweight and obesity. However, they also recognised that this avoidance could contribute to how children feel about their weight.
“There’s a bit of a shame or a stigma attached to it if it’s something you’re not talking about, whereas if it’s something in the open it’s more accepted and it’s less shameful for the child.” [Parent 2]
The guidance was perceived to address this concern, by promoting positivity and kindness, and “normalising” weight conversations.
“I think it’s done in a very positive way. It doesn’t blame anyone in particular, it avoids the kind of negative language like ‘fat’ and anything else that comes along with that. So yeah, to me it’s a very positive document, it encourages change.” [Parent 2]
“The language it’s using all the way through is trying to get a sense of normalising discussions about weight, that’s what it gives to me.” [PHP 4]
Both parents and PHPs framed reasons for avoiding weight discussions as an attempt to protect children, stemming from fears that talking to children about weight could cause eating disorders or damage their child’s self-esteem. Many parents reported lacking confidence in how to handle conversations with their children to avoid these risks. Some PHPs also acknowledged that they lacked confidence in how to directly answer parents’ questions about such risks, or provide advice on what they ‘should’ do, which caused them to “skirt around the subject”.
“There’s so much in social media around kind of eating problems and eating disorders and parents worry that that’s something that they’re going to push that child into if they have those conversations, rather than it probably being the very opposite.” [PHP 12]
While the guidance did not advocate that parents must talk with their children about weight, it aimed to highlight that there may be times when it would be helpful to do so and that this could be done in a supportive manner. This seemed to provide useful reassurance to parents that talking about weight need not be as risky an activity as they had thought.
“You just don’t know what the right thing to say is, which is why it’s great to have [the guidance], and you feel like yeah I’m saying the right things now and I’m not going to damage my child.” [Parent 2]
The case study ‘Mark’s Story’ seemed to be particularly powerful; this was written from the perspective of a child who wanted to talk about his weight with his parents, as he was being teased at school and thought his parents could help him. This prompted parents to think differently because it provided a novel child-centred perspective on children’s awareness of their weight.
“It just suddenly prompted this conversation that I’d been so reluctant to have with her because I’d been frightened […] but actually this made me think about the fact that actually she might be thinking about this already, or this might have been something that’s going on in her mind. So actually to have a bit of courage and push forward a little bit in having that conversation with her.” [Parent 11]
“Mark’s story, I think that gave a different perspective. That made me think about how the child may be thinking about it themselves and that hasn’t been picked up on. They may be using this as – waiting for this as an opportunity. I’d never really thought of it like that.” [PHP 11]
More broadly, the quotes from children interspersed throughout the guidance document were also identified as effective in making people reflect on how their child may feel about their weight and being measured. PHPs suggested that children’s voices were lacking in other parental resources which would make the guidance more novel and engaging.
“I loved the fact that it – this is the first thing I’ve read where it’s captured the children’s views, like the voice of the child.” [PHP 3]
“I just think it gave a really good alternative view and the child’s voice there and for parents to kind of go ‘actually yeah maybe I’m thinking about it from my perspective, and not the child’s’.” [PHP 12]
Overall, this meant the guidance provided reassurance to parents that they could talk about weight without harming their children.
“This is giving you permission to say ‘it’s okay to say that word, it’s okay to say weight’.” [Parent 1]
“It sort of destigmatises it really doesn't it, because it's giving you permission.” [PHP 13]
1.2 Reducing blame
Both parents and PHPs spoke of parents feeling “blamed” and “guilty” about their child’s weight status, and all felt the guidance dealt with this positively. Advice to avoid blaming oneself or children was perceived as effective because the recognition of environmental and external factors that can influence weight captured relevant challenges for parents, helping them feel that it “isn’t somebody’s fault”.
“Yeah, it can be very easy I think, that blame game, to blame one particular family member, the person who does all the cooking or buys all the food, yeah, it’s important to have that in there because I’m sure a lot of parents do, I certainly feel guilty about my child.” [Parent 2]
“Quite often parents will say like ‘well I haven’t got the time’ or ‘it’s hard money-wise’ so I think putting that in there, about how hard it is sometimes to stay healthy was good, it took away that blame straight away.” [PHP 10]
Many parents reflected on their own weight and experiences of trying to lose weight, and PHPs commonly reported that parents discuss their own weight when talking to professionals about their children. Content directed at parents who are struggling with their own weight was therefore considered very relevant, and the advice and framing of children’s challenges as likely to be different from a parent’s was perceived as useful. Both PHPs and parents talked about this section as increasing their confidence in the possibility of a good outcome for children, and PHPs also believed this would help to relieve parents’ feelings of guilt
“It can be difficult to feel confident […] if you’ve got your own weight issues or health issues, it can be hard to take the right approach. But I think the entire document gives you enough pointers to take that good approach.” [Parent 2]
“We do get a lot of parents where they’re already struggling with their own weight and they don’t necessarily feel that they’ve got the skills. So it’s giving them that confidence and the information there to say that they can do it together.” [PHP 12]