Eight women who met the inclusion criteria agreed to take part in the study. Their ages ranged from 25 to 36 years, and they had resided in Sweden between 10 and 30 years. A majority of participants migrated to Sweden at the age of 10 or younger. All of them spoke good or excellent Swedish. One woman originated from Eritrea, one from eastern Ethiopia (Somali region) and the remaining from Somalia. Seven of them were mothers or soon-to-be mothers. Six of the participants had a college or university degree and two had secondary school-level education. One participant was Orthodox Christian and the rest identified themselves as Sunni Muslims. One woman had been subjected to FGM type 2 and the remaining seven to FGM type 3. All of the infibulated women had undergone deinfibulation. The names below the quotations are not the real names of the participants in this study. The three main categories and ten subcategories that emerged from the analysis are presented in Fig. 2.
Living with FGM
All participating women shared the experience of having undergone FGM as girls. The women’s memories of the event were all different. Most participants did not know what was about to happen and were very surprised. The age at the event varied between 6 months and 12 years of age. All girls except one underwent FGM type 3. The context varied with six women being genitally mutilated in their own home or the home of a grandmother or aunt, and two of the women at health facilities. Seven women reported having a female circumciser whereas one woman reported that the procedure was performed by a male doctor. Some of the women recalled the event as something very traumatic and painful while others experienced little pain or mainly pain afterwards when passing urine. Two women had very little or recalled no memory at all from the event. One woman explained the procedure as something nontraumatic and without pain.
Preserving virginity and culture
The women expressed that culture was the main reason for continuation of the tradition of FGM and that the tradition is based on safeguarding and ensuring virginity. A general explanation for the tradition is that it transforms girls into “real” women and that it was done to avoid condemnation, harassment, and ostracism.
“It is a tradition. That women should not feel sexual desire and practice sex without being married...They believe they remove the desire to have sex, but that is not the case.” (Ayan)
Other arguments recalled were due to the force of social norms, being part of the community, not feeling ashamed as a parent, or to hurry up and ensure that it was performed before migration.
“I personally remember wanting to go through it because everyone my age had it done. It was such a thing that if you didn't have it done, you were ashamed. You wanted to feel like a woman, you wanted to be a part of the gang… I wanted to do it, it was really a decision I took… Also, I was influenced by the opinions of others, influenced by society's opinions and the culture. You want to be like your mother, your sister, your grandmother.” (Hiba, 7 years old when subjected to FGM)
The participating women mentioned that there is no clear religious argument for FGM, except one woman who mentioned pricking from religious Islamic texts (Hadiz). Although culture and tradition emerged as a central motive from the interviews, this was also questioned within the family. It was described that the tradition was continued, despite the knowledge of the harm it resulted in, because of the perceived social benefits.
“This is the way it always has been. The tradition just continues, without being questioned. It was never because of Islam…God created you just like you are, you don’t need to change anything. So, I think if you follow that literally, this would never exist.” (Hiba)
The mother’s ambivalence in the decision process of FGM
The motive most often mentioned for continuing the practice of FGM was persuasion from older female relatives. Several women mentioned that their grandmothers played a significant role. One woman was subjected to FGM while living with her grandmother when her parents were migrating to Europe. The grandmother initiated the FGM without asking for the parents' permission.
The mothers of the participants were described as having a main role but in an ambivalent position. Almost all the narratives included love and compassion for their own mothers when describing the decision process around FGM. The participants often reported that their mothers were under the power of their own mothers (the interviewees grandmothers). The peer pressure was mentioned as a strong argument, although the mothers were resisting. And if the mothers were present at the time of the mutilation, they could make sure that a less severe type was performed. It was also described by some that the mutilation was hastened due to forthcoming migration.
“I was like three years old, and my mother wanted to speed up the process because we were leaving for Sweden. She didn't want to have that taboo feeling. That she hadn't done it even though we were going abroad. She told me that there was not much that was cut. Rather that they had sewed everything together. To make it look covered somehow… And then she also told me that if she had more knowledge, she would never have done this. And I think she has said it to me many times.” (Deeqa)
One of the participants described how she herself put pressure on her mother due to her strong wish to undergo FGM. She remembered how she wished to belong to the group and to not feel ashamed about being different from her peers.
The participants remembered how their mothers let them become genitally mutilated without themselves actually wanting it but trusting that this was the best for their daughter. One of the mothers were described as clearly against the practice: she later even lectured to newly immigrated neighbours in Sweden about the negative health consequences of FGM.
“My mother didn't want me to be mutilated but everyone else did it and everyone knew each other. She felt the pressure… She didn't want me to be bullied. So, she did it for my own sake… Somali culture is special. Sometimes you have to, even if you don't want to. She did her best. I am not angry at her.” (Fatima)
One of the participants said that her mother was in favor of the tradition and made sure that it was done without the father's knowledge since he was against the tradition. Two of the participants described how their grandmothers initiated the procedure without the permission of the parents. The fathers of the women were either not present or against the tradition to mutilate girls.
“Dad was against it but was not there to stop it. My dad, grandfather and all the men in my family were totally against it… My grandmother did it behind my grandfather's back and my mother did it behind my father's back.” (Deeqa)
Processing FGM through life
Most women described FGM as something they had gone through earlier in life, however later reconciled with. It was also described by some as having been part of their identity, a feeling that changed over time. Responding to an open question on how they perceive themselves in relation to FGM, several expressed that they did not see themselves as victims.
“I do not feel like a victim, however it's of course a part of me. A part of my life. That's who I am today. I would not replace it for anything else, because I do not have anything else to compare with… I feel like a strong person who has gone through this and today I feel good. I have my family, my children, and a fantastic sex life.” (Deeqa)
Most of the participants did not feel anger towards their parents that had let them undergo FGM. However, some of them expressed frustration. One participant found out that she was mutilated during a gynecological examination and described how mad it made her and that she thereafter talked to her parents about it.
“In the beginning I was very mad. Now I don't think about it. Well, I think I actually do… It took me some time. I was very mad in the beginning, and I didn’t want to talk to them at all. But then I saw how bad it made my mom and dad feel... Okay I know, It's not them, it's the culture. So really, it's not their fault, it's the culture. This has been happening for the longest time.” (Senait)
One participant described how she was informed about FGM from a newly arrived family from Somalia. Before this encounter she did not perceive she had much knowledge about the motives of FGM. But through this relationship she learnt more about the culture, language and concept of purity linked to FGM. However, she found the practice of FGM very problematic and couldn’t understand why the young girls in that family protected the culture.
“We thought, you can't do that to people, but they told us ‘we are clean… you can stick a match in us’. I answered ‘what, that's not normal!’ But they were really proud and thought that you aren't a woman if you aren't like that, that you aren't clean and that the man should open you up, you shouldn't have the temptation.” (Khadra)
All participants in this study expressed a strong negative attitude towards the tradition of FGM. The negative attitude was due to the health risks, pain and the unnecessary and old-fashioned tradition of controlling girls’ bodies. There were different opinions whether FGM continues to be practised in the diaspora. Some found it possible, especially during vacation trips to other countries. Increased knowledge and fear of punishment were recurrent motivations for the abandonment of the tradition after migration.
“Yes, but of course. No, but maybe, it depends on the parents. If they're conservative you know, they might take the girl back and do it. But maybe that's not happening here. Everyone is scared too.“ (Fatima)
Living with lifelong health consequences
Challenges during menstruation, urination and sexual intercourse
Most of the participating women did not experience their menstruation as challenging at all. However, for some women the menstrual period was associated with severe pain, in a few cases to the degree that they did not know how to handle it. One woman remembered how she fainted from pain when in school.
“Each time I got my period, I felt I was going to pass out. I was very pale and it was so damn painful...” (Ayan)
Some of the participating women described that urination was time consuming and involved different measures and adjustments to be able to urinate.
“Previously it felt like I needed to put pressure (on the bladder) to pee faster.” (Hiba)
Most of the participants with previous sexual experiences described painful intercourses when they started to practice it.
“It felt tight, it was really painful.” (Zahra)
The deinfibulation as a positive turning point
Deinfibulation refers to the surgical procedure where the scar tissue in the seal covering the infibulated vulva is opened. Most women had the procedure done in Sweden, however one woman had it performed in England. For some of the participants the operation was postponed because of traumatic memories from the FGM. The deinfibulation was performed either with local anesthetics or full anesthesia. Most women did not experience any discomfort after the deinfibulation, however one mentioned soreness in the area, which was relieved with anesthetic gel. One woman described a strong emotional reaction of relief after the deinfibulation. The deinfibulation took place either independently of marriage, just after marriage or during pregnancy.
“I wanted to do it… but there are prejudices if you have done it. Maybe you are not a virgin anymore and stuff like that…I didn't want to do the operation and then get shit for it later, for something I did not do... I wanted to wait until I felt ready. So, it took another 4 years.” (Hiba)
All women experienced the deinfibulation as a positive turning point. The deinfibulation made vaginal intercourse possible and painless. Positive changes were described as being able to pass urine without the procedure taking a very long time and “not having to press” anymore when urinating.
“It was an aha-experience to be able to pee without it taking so long… The urine stream came differently.” (Amal)
Also, the pain that some of the participants had lived with during the menstrual period disappeared after the deinfibulation. Some of the women expressed that they did not understand until after the deinfibulation that the suffering they had experienced previously during urination and menstruation was not normal and not necessary to live with.
“Prior to my deinfibulation I always had very painful periods. I thought it was normal.” (Ayan)
“I used to pee so slowly...It's more free now!… Previously I had to wait and put my finger like this to wash myself… Now I don't need to. It goes really fast. I don't know why I waited so long.” (Fatima)
One of the participants explained that she was happy with her deinfibulation since it released the pain during intercourse. But later in life, after childbirth, she felt that her genitals were different and embarrassing, unlike before childbirth.
“You know when you are mutilated, everything is sort of even and pretty down there. An opening that is not too wide. Now after giving birth to my children they didn't sew it back as before. Now it is more open. Now the urine tract and everything is visible as it should be. Then of course that suddenly feels strange to me… because this is not the way I used to look.” (Deeqa)
Lifelong learning about sexual pleasure
From the women's narratives different aspects related to sexuality emerged. Several women mentioned difficulties imagining how their sexual life would have been without the experience of FGM. The women’s sexual experiences differed. Some women had experience of long-time relationships, whereas others historically had several different sexual partners. One of the participants who recently got married explained that she yet had no experience of sexual intercourse or masturbation. Most of the women could reach orgasm although the issue of reaching orgasm was challenging for some of the women who described the process as very time consuming.
“I can achieve orgasm, but not so often. I feel limited in what I can do… I know that I should practice stimulating myself, but I don't feel comfortable yet.” (Senait)
The reasons behind the sexual challenges described differed among women, some related to inexperience, some related to the mutilation and some related to the partner.
“I think it depends on the man. The father of my child was really bad at sex. He was not sensitive at all or interested in my emotions or satisfaction.” (Zahra)
It was also described that they needed to explore their bodies on their own to gradually develop skills to better enjoy their sexual life. FGM being the clear cause of challenges in sexual enjoyment was also stated in few cases.
“It was so painful in the beginning... We didn’t have much knowledge about sex at all… Now I understand my body much better. Even if I don't have a clitoris, I know that I can reach orgasm. But I needed to practice a lot.” (Khadra)
One participant recounted psychological suffering due to alleged problems associated to FGM. The woman expressed how bad she felt when people talked about the problems she was expected to have due the FGM. Hearing about the negative health consequences mainly related to sexual enjoyment, but also to urination and menstrual periods was difficult to relate to as she had not experienced those herself. Later, when she started to have sex, she felt very insecure due to all the negative “talking”.
“I always tried to object when others talked about mutilated girls, like ‘they don't feel anything’ and ‘they are not feeling well and have lots of problems down there’. I used to say that I don’t have any problems and I feel just fine!” (Deeqa)
“You know, you have been hearing all the time ‘you should not be able to feel anything, you have no feelings, you might as well read a magazine’ (while having sex). So, this is what you hear, and then you believe it. Or I didn't think it would affect me, but apparently it did. You see, I was affected by that in an unconscious way.” (Deeqa)
Encounters with the healthcare providers
Being acknowledged in the encounter with healthcare providers
Encounters with healthcare providers emerged as either positive or mixed with negative experiences. Several of the participants expressed their own experiences of trust and feeling safe and comfortable in the encounter with healthcare providers. In those positive encounters they highlighted being acknowledged, that is, being asked about or neutrally explained that they had undergone FGM. The participants also appreciated knowledgeable information provided in a sensitive and compassionate way. This was often described as a feeling of being educated. Further, being referred to psychological counseling was also appreciated. All the participants described the encounters at a specialist clinic eliciting feelings of trust and comfort and being educated. Further, it also emerged that it was appreciated when not referring to FGM if not relevant during the healthcare encounter.
“She knew that just because I was circumcised it does not define my whole personality or who I am. So, she treated me like I was just any person.” (Ayan)
Feeling ignored
Experiences of feeling ignored were expressed by several participants during gynecological examination and delivery. Some participants did not feel included in the reasoning about specific situations. One woman overheard conversations from the corridor about herself and how the caesarean section was decided on due to the FGM, something that was not explained to her. That feeling of being ignored was also experienced by another participant during delivery. She perceived that the staff did not explain why so many people examined her.
“Doctors and midwives were running in and out (from the delivery room) and everybody said: We do not know how to fix this.” (Ayan)
Feeling ignored was also experienced when healthcare providers did not ask or mention the fact that the woman had undergone FGM. Khadra, a woman with four children, had never been asked about FGM:
“It feels like they don’t see you… It's like, you are looking at my private parts...You are the one with more knowledge. It's like not asking a woman with bruises if she has been abused!... I think it is inhumane because they could change someone's life.” (Khadra)
A couple of the participants commented that they would have appreciated it if psychological counseling was being offered when seeking medical advice.
“They just think ‘We are going to fix this person, just open her up and everything is over.’ But when they opened me floodgates of shit came out! My memories came back, that I thought I had forgotten.” (Ayan)
Experiences of insulting attitudes
Delayed care-seeking related to the FGM experience was expressed. Memories from the FGM event in childhood was explained as a reason to avoid seeking care for symptoms such as sexual dysfunction and menstrual pain. But seeking care was also avoided by some due to prior experiences of insulting attitudes. The silence from healthcare providers; not explaining, asking, or including the women in the decision making, was expressed as offensive by some of the participants. Furthermore, several participants experienced comments from healthcare providers that they perceived insulting.
“I remember her comment… ‘This was tight!’ And I was like, ‘what is she saying?’... I felt so embarrassed, why did she say that? But I never understood that I was mutilated. She didn't tell me. Maybe she didn't understand that I was mutilated either… So, I thought this was normal… I felt uncomfortable, I never wanted to go to the gynecologist again.” (Senait)
But for some it was also perceived as insulting when seeking health care for other reasons than FGM, but still offered care for the FGM on the initiative of the healthcare provider. For example, one woman booked an appointment due to symptoms of urinary tract infection, but was told about the advantages to reconstruct her clitoris:
“The doctor talked a lot about my mutilation, that I could seek medical care. And they could help me get my clitoris back. And that they could help me look normal again… Sure, I was not angry with him, since I understood that he only wanted to help me. But I went there to talk about my urinary tract infection, not about my mutilation. If I needed antibiotics or something. Not to get help to look normal. (Deeqa)
Feeling as of having no choice
One of the participants recalled that when she was a teenager, she had severe menstrual pain and was referred to a gynecologist by the school nurse. She said she was offered to have a deinfibulation operation performed, but the healthcare personnel did not understand the sensitivity of the cultural situation as her mother was present during the consultation.
“She examined me and said ‘you have the choice if you want it or not.’ But my mother was with me, so I did not have much of a choice. This was before I got married.” (Fatima)